Jewish,Italian & Irish parents

[John Saxton]

JEWISH MOTHER (A GEM)

The year is 2020, and the United States has elected the first woman, as well as, the first Jewish president, Susan Goldstein.
She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, 'So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?'
'I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive, your father isn't as young as he used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again.' 'Don't
worry about it, Mom, I will send Air Force One, to pick you up, and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your
door.'

'I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy-schmantzy; what on earth would I wear? Susan replies, 'I will make sure you have a
wonderful gown, custom-made by the best designer in New York.' "Honey,' Mom complains, 'you know, I can't eat those rich
foods, you and your friend's, like to eat.' The President-to-be responds, 'Don't worry Mom. The entire affair, is going to be
handled by the best caterer in New York; kosher all the way. Mom, I really want you to come.'

So Mom reluctantly agrees, and on January 20, 2021, Susan Goldstein is being sworn in as President of the United States. In
the front row sits the new President's mother, who leans over to a Senator sitting next to her and says, 'You see that woman
over there, with her hand, on the Torah, becoming President of the United States?' The Senator whispers back, "Yes, I do."
Mom says proudly, "Her brother is a doctor."

ITALIAN MOTHER

Giuseppe, excitedly tells his mother, he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Mama, I'm
going to bring over three women, and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day, he
brings three beautiful women into the house, sits them down on the couch, and they chat for a while.

He then says, "Okay, Mama, guess which one, I am going to marry" Mama says immediately, "The one on the right." "That is
amazing, Mama. You are right. How did you know?" Mama replies: "I don't like her."

AN IRISHMAN'S FIRST DRINK WITH HIS SON

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back to the time I took my son out for
his first drink. Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house. I got him a Guinness Stout. He didn't like
it so I drank it. Then I got him an Old Style. He didn't like it either, so I drank it. It was the same, with the Coors, and the Bud.
By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey, I could hardly push the stroller back home.








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Don't worry...be happy!

[rrich]

Being born and raised in Brooklyn, New York; the "Her brother is a doctor." comment is so true. I've heard it numerous times. Maybe a different occupation but the tone is the same.