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Thread: St Peter and The Repair Job
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21st July 2003, 10:57 PM #1
St Peter and The Repair Job
Three fellas are all tragically killed on the same building site on the same day.
Eventually they find them self’s out side St Peter's Gate, the gate to the heavenly isles
St Peter hearing of the new arrivals walks out to welcome them all to heaven, but as he is passing through the gates to heaven he notices that the old pearly gates need a fair bit of repair work done to them.
So he says to the 3 arrivals ...Look fellas I got a job that needs doing first. Ya all see the gates here? well they could do with a bit of renovating ...you know fix the hinges, new pearl inlay, check the weather seal, sharpen the spikes ...etc etc. and I'm willing to pay in angle dollars which are good for traveling through out the heavenly galaxy especially in the VENUS section of heaven if ya know what I mean ;-) So who's going give me the first quote on how much to fix these old gates?
Well the first fella who is a little Irish fella says ...Oh please O'l St Peter I'll do anything to get me wee sinful blessed soul in ta the land of the blessed Virgins.....ummm I mean Virgin Mother and the poor wee suffering Jesus and I'll do the work for only 1,000 heavenly bucks or what ever it is yee call em up here.
Very good Says St Peter ...now what about you other two over there. How much will either of you two be willing to repair these gates for?
The next bloke is a huge towering German and he says to St Peter ...I will build you a great master piece! A magnificent feat of engineering that will stand for all eternity! And it will come with a lifetime...um eternal, warranty from me or may my soul be dammed to hell! But such great work as this is not for cheap and this will cost you 20,000! Not one more and not one less!
Hmmm.... says St Peter, sounds impressive, but I still want to hear from that last shady looking character over there. Come now and say how much you will do the good Lord's work for.
The last recently killed fella is an Italian. Very suspicious and doggy looking with shifty eyes. He slides over to St Peter and gently tugs him on his sleeve...Psssst ! hey Peterello .. this is between you and me only, this is for your ears only my friend si? I tell you what. I have made all the calculations and thought long and hard about what I will quote you for this job my freind. I will do it for 10,000 and this is a very good price for you my friend Peterello
Well St Peter is intrigued about how this shady fella came up with the figure of $10,000. So he asks O'l shifty eyes why $10,000?
It is good for both you and me my friend it works like this..me and the rest of the "Family" used to do all our quoting this way back on earth when I was alive...my dear old Papa and Mama taught me that this is the very best way to do business.
She’s a very simple You accept my quote for the job of $10,000 You then tell the other two that I am willing to do the job for $500. They all think I get the job for being the lowest quote right? But what really happens is I then pay that poor Irish sod (who really had the lowest quote) his $1000 to do the work for us And then you and me we split the other $9000 and then we bamoos to check out that Venus place you where talking about. Every one (except for the German) we all much happy! Si ?Sean@Oz
Live Long And Prosper
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