Don't Mess With Mature Ladies

[WoodJunky]

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner..

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too

[tea lady]

Who you callin' mature?

[Old farmer]

That's a beauty, WoodJunky, thanks.

Glad to see you back, tea lady.

[rrich]

Good one.

[Allan at Wallan]

I liked that.

Allan

[RedShirtGuy]

HAH!! I'll have to try that one. It's easier than the other one I'm keeping in mind...

"Sir, you've turned in the wrong direction on this road. Didn't you see the arrows?"
"Arrows? I didn't even see the Indians!"

[joe greiner]

Use it with care. I sent it to a friend, and he sent it to a cop friend, and it'll be back in Australia real soon.

Cheers,
Joe

[watson]

What I want to know is why my Mum was out so late

[tea lady]

What I want to know is why my Mum was out so late

Acshully, I reckon this joke would work with the driver being a bloke too. Maybe a real innocent looking one with glasses and pens in his pocket.

[Sawdust Maker]

superb

[Allan at Wallan]

Acshully, I reckon this joke would work with the driver being a bloke too. Maybe a real innocent looking one with glasses and pens in his pocket.

Plenty of us with glasses and pens in the pocket ... just a bit
harder to find innocent ones.

Allan