Never take men shopping against their will

[WoodJunky]

BANNED FROM K- MART...........

This is why women should not take men shopping against their
will.

DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her
husband accompany her on her trips to K-Mart.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping
boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she
loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from
her local K-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and may be
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, "Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away."

5.. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&M's on lay-b y.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a
carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it
as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
"Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumed a foetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE
VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least ..

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,
K -Mart..

[tea lady]

This has been on before, but still funny.

I was in K-Mart once and over heard a husband tell his wife she needed to buy more undies for herself as he needed her old ones. After I looked at them with eyebrows raised and uizical look, she hurriedly explained that he needed them to apply oil to his wood work. And that womens ones were better. A likely story.

[Calm]

This has been on before, but still funny.

I was in K-Mart once and over heard a husband tell his wife she needed to buy more undies for herself as he needed her old ones. After I looked at them with eyebrows raised and uizical look, she hurriedly explained that he needed them to apply oil to his wood work. And that womens ones were better. A likely story.

Next time i'm in Kmart i will hang around the womens area and when i see someone buying some i will ask for the old ones.

Should be interesting.

[echnidna]

get someone organised ter pay yer bail before yer do that

[DavidG]

Wander 'round the BBQ area and leave some raw prawns on the barbie. (Shut the lid)

Go to the toy area and swap the cloths on the Ken and Barbie dolls.

Go to a Bathroom fittings store and leave crushed up wet brown paper in the WC's