Another Lone Ranger story

[Driver]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are once again on the trail – out in the Badlands. They have pitched camp for the night, eaten their evening meal and fallen into a restful slumber.

In the middle of the night, Tonto wakes his friend the masked man.

"Kemo Sabay,” he says. “Look up into the sky and tell me what you see."

Staring upwards, the Lone Ranger replies "Tonto my friend, I see millions of stars."

"And what does that tell you?" asks the faithful redskin.

The masked one ponders for a moment and says:

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies playing host to billions of stars and planets... Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo... Chronologically, it appears to be approximately 3:15am... Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and as small insignificant beings, we pale in his presence... Meteorologically, we're in for a clear and beautiful day tomorrow with a light easterly breeze in the morning... What does it tell you, my native American buddy?"

Tonto is silent for a moment as he gazes, poker-faced, at his partner. Then he sighs and says,

"Kemo Sabay, some bastard's stolen the tent!"

[bigAl]

Q. What's an Intellectual?

A. Someone who can listen the William Tell Overture and NOT think of the Lone Ranger.

[AlexS]

Q. Where does the Lone Ranger take his rubbish?

A. To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump.

[Zed]

The lone ranger and tonto have just vanquished some dudes in black hats and are riding off into the sunset towards the west, as they ride they see a bunch of cherokee indians whooping it up towards them intent on destruction. The Lone ranger sez "quick tonto, turn south" so they turn south and gallop away... they gallop and see a bunch of apache indians intent on murder riding towards them... the lone ranger sez "quick tonto, turn east". So they turn east and off they go. Again they see a cloud of dust that quickly resolves itself into a horde of Commanche indians riding to war. the lone ranger sez "bugger this tonto lets go north". So its north they go and lo and behold it seems a bunch of Souix are riding south towards them with death in thier Eyes.

The Lone ranger pulls up and sez to Tonto ; Bugger me Tonto what do we do now???" Tonto turns to him and sez "what do you mean WE white man???"