Calling Derek Cohen

[Wild Dingo]

Mate Ive been thinking... yeah its usually VERY worrying even for me ... But anyways... Im getting rid of the damned 15in thicknesser after too many furious arguments and discussions with the thing Ive finally had enough... and have just burnt the small one out

sooooo mate... I was thinking... you know... you know this darksider stuff you keep yarnin about??

see I was thinkin maybe I should just start to learn that stuff and give these flamin machines the flick whadda yer reckon? good bad or otherwise idea?

I mean I could buy some right good darksider gear with the selling of the thicknesser sooooo??

I think Ive seen the light! was bound to happen I guess since Im about as usefull with motors and machinery stuff as a ten titted bullock is to a day old calf... can operate the sodding things but fix them? not a chance in hell... so Im prepared to consider the darkside of woodworking

ahem and she reckons it could be safer for me

[Groggy]

I mean I could buy some right good darksider gear with the selling of the thicknesser sooooo??

You may be in for a shock...3-4 good planes, or 7-8 recons and a lot of work. Then there's the sharpening....

[manoftalent]

sorry mate ....but I cant resist any longer ...when a machine doesnt work properly ....READ THE MANUAL.......when in doubt ......READ THE MANUAL.....when an attack of the utter irrits occurs, have a coffee and READ THE MANUAL.........

when above all else fails, give the manual to the wife to read to you

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

You can read a manual 10,000 times, but once a machine dumps it's guts on the floor the manual's absolutely bloody useless. Won't even soak up the oil properly, just sorta smears it around...

[Wild Dingo]

I said I downloaded... printed... and read the silly thing!! tried too many times to count had young Ben over to have a go had another go then gave it a rest yesty and back into it again today... thought I had it resolved... but then it did it again... I tried another tack... worked for half a length then didnt... I then threw the screwdriver at the neighbors cat chucked the peice of Jarrah at the train as it passed screamed bloody blue murder that sent Joshy runnin for the house faster than superman ever flew chewed fumed coughed spat... then sat and cogitated the damned evil thing sitting there sooooo bloody smug

Decided to have some tucker and ignore the thing for a bit so up to the house found Joshy quivering in the living room got him up and together we made lunch shared a laugh neighbor came over had an argument then a fight all over his poor bloody cat with the blue handled phillips set screwdriver it was carryin around in its date thanked him for returning it wrenched the screwdriver out of said date cat bolted for god knows where squeelin like a demented chook on steroids neighbor got cranky started to arguin I shut the door smiled at Joshy he smiled at me the neighbor ranted outside for a few minute last seen runnin up the hill after his precious puddytat...

I went back to said shed faced up to the evil buzzard squattin there between the innocent jointer and silent table saw starin its benevolent snarl at me... I sat down RE-READ the damned manual... dragged the tool box over to the thing... swore again... ripped the damned top of and swore again grabbed the manual read again looked read looked tossed the bloody useless manual into the scrap bin with the other flotsam and snarled while I sat back down to ponder my next step

Neighbor came to the fence heard the swearing something about "my poor babywabby" sounds of thumping on the side of the seatainer... "THATS FRIGGIN IT!!!" I screamed as I tore me shirt of grabbed the nearest lump of 4x4 (nicely turned peice of Tuart if I do say so meself) raced out the door around the side of the shed to the seatainer tore around the back between his place and mine yellin "WHAT THE BLOODY HELLS YOUR FRIGGIN PROBLEM YER DOPEY WOMBAT!!" at the top of me voice

neighbor was last seen racing his funny runnin pussy tat up the hill squeelin like a stuck pig... looked at the side of the seatainer to assertain the thumping noise...mmm not bad I thought as I looked at the neat but running spodges of lovely pink paint that he'd thown at it in his "vengence"... funny bloke name of Bwuthy... I mean what sorta parent gives their kid a name like Bwuthy?? strewth eh?

Anyway... came back in found and re-read the damned manual again walked over to the evil buggar snarled at it it snarled back I ROARED at it it whimpered... gawd I love it when I play tuff I tried it again... worked for a few feet on a board then same bloody issue again... stopped moving the bloody board through just burnin the damned thing force the timber through and out toss it out the paddock fumed spat cussed came inside

Typed up the forsale add in here and walked away... walked out there looked at it it snarled "go on try again buster Ive got your bloody number smartass woodbutcher bloke"... I sat and silently glared... "come on!! you know youve gotta do all them other lengths come on have a go yer dipstick"... I smiled... "Whats wrong with you!! come on you know you gotta specially now youve burnt out the small one your gonna have to have another go!!" I shook me head

Walked back to the house typed in this thread beseaching the master of the darkside to talk to me... listening to the mongrel cussin out there in the shed... I walked back out... its ranting about now "COME ON!! TRY ME!!! COME ON YER MONGREL HUMAN!! BETCHA CANT FIX ME UP!!" yarda yarda

I stood at the door smiled as I slowly lowered it... "Nah... cat be bothered Im sellin yer!" closed the door and locked up for the day

I WIN!!

Well Derek hasnt spoken to me yet so maybe I havent... oooohhh gawd maybe I loose?????? aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Then I realized that this may be borderlining the ol drivel thingymabob that some have issues with here but thought buggar it after a day like mine I deserve at least this much with me mates

[black1]

did ya try wax on the bed to help it slide? might workas it worked on mine or does it have roller on the table and their too low? (mine dosent)

edit : just read ya for sale post and see that ya dont need wax sorry. but still check ya bottom rollers for hight

[Harry72]

So whats wrong with the thicknesser now?(other than being orange)

[masoth]

Huh !!!!
I know what you're on about Ding. I took possession of my new Ute last Friday (my old one lasted 22 years) and because I know machinery has changed a bit (I didn't say improved), I thought I'd do the right thing and read the destructions. Hell, Mate - 174 bluddy pages, in book one of three.
So what's wrong with winding windows up or down, and who the hell needs five (that's 5) cup holders in a Ute? No joke Mate, there's so many dust collecters in the new one I doubt it'll ever be cleaned.

soth

[manoftalent]

WD....all I can say mate, is you have a God given talent for writting a ripper of a yarn, you should write a book ...it would compensate for the hard time recieved by that "orange box "..... ....

[Rocker]

manof,

Don't encourage him. Ubeaut has already had to get a new server to accommodate the archives of Dingo's posts

Rocker

[MurrayD99]

C'mon Dingo... what's wrong with the bst'd. Sounds like the feed rollers are shot or gummed up, or the table is gunked -up. There's nothing high tech about a thicknesser. If this one is a dud, you need a better one. Don't go getting seduced by planes et al. They's for fine finishing, not blood & guts dressing/gauging....

OK, I just caught up with your earlier post - but still, you might have a crook machine.... but the entire race of thicknessers aren't all bad. Manufacturer?

[manoftalent]

I have to say Dingo, this problem of yours is causing my mind to wander ....I must admit I have had no use of a thicknesser myself, but I am tech minded ...and I have been a pondering...a lot .......you say it stops half way and burns the piece your working on....so a question...does it burn both sides?.......as unfamiliar with them as I am, its not hard to figure that the rollers are independant of the blade settup and if I am correct, then perhaps one of the rollers stopped ......or maybe both did ...if that is the case I would look at what drives the rollers ? chain? or pulley and belt?...if they are slipping....the work could pause half way and cause burning....its either that assuming that they are clean......or an obstruction .....something small like the head of a screw....maybe have a look inside the beast with a torch ......and take off the cover and check to see if there is too much slack in either chain or pulley settup.....I am thinking its probably a pulley settup ....and a simple adjustment is needed to stop the belt from slipping under duress.....I could be wrong .....and way off track .....but stranger things have happened .

[Felder]

you say it stops half way and burns the piece your working on....

Another possibility - does your timber have a taper? You know, is it getting thicker as it progresses. Like me.

[Wood Borer]

Congratulations Wild Dingo on considering the Darkside.

Mate, those machines are much more faster, much more noisier, much more dustier and at best they can almost do the job of handtools - properly tuned and sharpened handtools used properly. You can make mistakes far quicker on the machines too.

I have bought some electron burners recently and they will certainly earn their keep but I will continue to have the pleasure of using my handtools.

[Felder]

Congratulations Wild Dingo on considering the Darkside.

Shoosh!

Darksiders don't put much food on my table (yourself excluded, Mr Borer......sir )


Stay with the electron burners, Shane........stay with the electron burners.