Snakes in the shed!

[Wild Dingo]

Now I dont know if I told yous blokes before or not but the other week I had first a wee feild mouse visit me shed followed very closely by a bloody great snake who made himself at home long enough to eat his fresh meal of said feild mouse under one of the stacks of Jarrah I keep in there and then buggared off... no big thing I thought and went my merry way

Now it seems that while I was away my shed got invaded by a couple of snakes.

Kids told me they had "seen a couple of big snakes in the shed dad" when I got back from the mine on Tuesday but I sorta took that with a pinch of salt since to them any snake is a BIG snake

Anyways there I was making a frame for my early birthday pressy from my sis yesty cutting the lengths of Oregon to size and doing a tad of routing then while at the table putting it together in the home made picture frame jig Ive devised... something rather large and heavy slithered across me bare foot!! Scared the living shyte outta me I can tell you!

So I looked down and theres this bloody great 5ft green snake sliding under the stack between the Jointer and the Bandsaw... BLOODY HELL!!! I thought... keeping a wary eye on the stack I continued putting it into frame when I cought a movement from the door next to me SHYTE!!! Another buggar was coming in!!!

Now this time I know there were no field mice running in front of either of them... so methinks they have taken up residence... I sat down and watched the second one disappear under the stack of Jarrah planks and wondered if that was it or were there more lurking in the dark recesses of me cave...

So I wandered around all sneeky like checkin in the scrap bin under the benches up on top of the cabinets and around the tools... whew! nothing... then I gathered up the ladder and clambered up to have a gander up in the loft shining a torch in there... I saw another one!! a tad smaller this time but comfy as all hell just turned and looked balefully at me with that bloody tongue whipping in and out... until I clambered back down... SHYTE!!! SHYTE!! SHYTE!!!

I mean snakes??? I MEAN THESE ARE FRIGGIN SNAKES IN ME FLAMIN SHED!!!

I dont like snakes... well I do... dead snakes that is... I can take dead snakes but live ones? NOT A BLOODY CHANCE!!!

So what did I do you ask? Well... I went up to the house and had a bloody beer!! What else does a bloke do when his sheds invaded by snakes eh? Yep I had several beers in fact and every time I considered going out there to sort the slithering things I had me anothery!! made a huge dent in the newly bought block of Colds I can tell yer!

Now today I figured I wasnt gonna be pushed outta me own ubeaut shed by a couple of cold feindishly evil slithering snakes! IT WAS MY SHED!!! So I out there bright and early opened the doors and stood at the table... well on it in point of fact but hey its my bloody shed and I will stand anywhere I damned please!... and in me toughest voice I yelled "Its me shed you basturds not yours now buggar off!"... nothin...are snakes deaf? I thought... mmm maybe theyre still asleep... uhoh nope theyre awake an on the move... damn those things can move when they want!!

Anyway the two larger ones from under the planks were out and gone to the back of the shed in no time flash... still the other basturd up in the loft I thought "YER AN YOU TO YER FLAMIN MONGREL GERROUDAERE!!" now it was about this moment that her bloody highness decided to come out to find out who I was yelling at... saw me standin on top of the table and well... she cracked up!! Laughed her sodding flamin head off didnt she!! Bloody women Anyway with one glare at her she bolted back to the house where she belonds and I glared up at the planks in the loft "COME ON YER BASTURD!! OUT WITH YER!!" I was gainin confidence with every yell geez I was tuff

Anyway this small brownish black head slides over the edge of the board nearest me noggin and glares down at me... I duck weave and jump down to the floor "YER YOU!! GEDDOUDAERE YER MONGREL" it slithered further down... till it was half hanging over the edge a full 2ft of snake just lookin at me face to face... no fear whatever it was like "you reckon this is your shed dipstick? yeah right" tongue flicking eyes glaring coldly menacingly... DAMNED SNAKES I HATE THE BUGGARS!!! Really I hate the mongrels just the way it is with me an snakes...

Anyway I was just about to grab the bloody great sledge hammer I keep at the doorway and slug him one... when the other two came back!! bloody hell talk about gangin up on a bloke!... but they went straight under the stack again and as I took up the sledge and bought it up to give the sod in the loft the beating of its life... IT WAS GONE!!! bloody thing had slithered back again

So bein hte owner of me shed and the guardian of all that resides there I did the thing mum always said to do in these situations... discression mates! Discression bein the better part of valor I decided to use my discression and ignore the sods... yep just plain ignored them totally... well I tried!! consentration was a tad on the blink what with lookin on the floor up at the loft at the planks out the doors all the time tryin to get this flamin frame done RIGHT... talk about a worry... anyway I decided that if they leave me alone I'll leave them alone... but they slither just one time the wrong way and LOOK OUT!! BLAM with the sledgey right smack on the head... CRUNCH!... did I mention I like dead snakes? well I do

Anyway I got the frame all done today and now the picture hangs in pride of place in the living room...

Oh and the snakes? the two under the stack on the floor were around 5 -6ft in length with rounded heads green on top yellow underneath... the one in the loft? brown on top white underneath flat head... any ideas what they were? NO buggar it dont tell me!!! I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!!!

Although Im sorta wondering how Im gonna get to that stack of timber up in the loft but for now the beers cold and its night so I dont have to think about it till tomorrow when the beer will be cold again!

Just thought Id let you know about the snakes in me shed

[DJ’s Timber]

Blooming heck Dingo, ya not having much luck lately are ya .

First the crook knee and the ballsup at work and ya missus been in hospital .

Hopefully if you keep up ya muttering and a bit of noise the blithers will get sick of ya and slither off to greener pastures

[Wild Dingo]

aaah DJ ol mate its all just the wonderous weave of the fabric of live at Dingo Creek

Actually I went down there this evening... to the creek I mean... and Im thinking Id better hire me one of them ride on slasher things and let rip down there... boy is it a snakes paridise down there!! lush green grass several feet high water trickling along mmm yep first thing monday!!

Interestingly I find life rather interesting even if a tad over the top at times... I reckon if it wasnt full of these sorts of trials an such it would be boring as hell eh?

[echnidna]

ya need pet ferrets Ding, they'll sort the snakes out quick smart.

[old_picker]

Dunno about the green fellahs but the brown one is eiher a taipan or brown. Both pretty ugly customers. I would be setting up to get rid of all 3 as the main shed project.

Sledgie is useless against snakes and you will end up getin bit for sure. I used to use a 5 foot long piece of heavy gauge fencing wire looped into a handle at one end. Use it like a whip and it quickly slices em into a wiggling mess. Very effective but you need room tio swing it and jump around. Another good one is a long handled spade used like a spear but stab it down on em and dont let go of it. [can be dangerouse see story below]. If usding a shovel the first hit must be deadly. Best tool is a 12 guage shottie or second best a 410 guage shottie. 410 for in the shed 12 guage outside. You got to have it loaded and nearby prolly not good if you lil tackers around.

When you hit the brown make sure the first hit counts as it will prolly go for you in a big way.

I'll never forget many years ago when i lived in a place infested with tiger snakes, my nieghbiour came over all white faced saying "where were you you b@st@rd??" I retorts "whadya mean?" He says "I been over there yellng me blo$dy head off for half an hour!!"
I thought mmm i do remember hearing someone shouting but I thought he was having a didng dong with the misses or the kids and never gave a 2nd thought. Apparently he'd been away for a few weeks and a couple of tigers had begun hunting mice in the house and had more or less taken up residence. So he gets back from his trip and bowls in to be confronted with a couple of very p1ssed off tigers who were snacking in the kitchen. One of them skedaddles pretty smartly but Tim bein an old bushy takes exception and clouts one of em a beauty with a spade he had in the kitchen [???] [dont ask nuther long story] The spade had seen many a days work and was a bit gummy you know the curve of the business end went slightly backwards so here he was with the tiger securely trapped under the spade but very much alive and very aggressiively attempting to wiggle free and attack him furiously. So Tim starts yellin for assistance. I never came and no one else did either. So there he was with a captive tiger snake desparately struggling to savage him at the earliest opportunity yelling his head off and keeping his legs away from the business end of the tiger when he spies a 12" length of railway line on the kitchen bench just a little too far away. Gradually he works himself slowly around and gets 1 mitt securely onto the railway line. He had one shot and it was a good one luckily for Tim. A 12" piece of railway line traveling at 60 miles an hour causes, as you could imagine, a lot of damage and luckily for Tim it hit the sweet spot disorienting the tiger long enough to take another deadly strike with the spade. He then began to hysterically leap around the kitchen whooping and yelling as he chopped the hapless tiger it into many 2" lengths.

So in other words be carefull eradicating your snakes.

They are protected species and if you dont feel up to tackling them yerself get the local ranger to organise a snake catcher to come in to get rid of em for you.. Then buy a terrier the best great guard against snakes they kill any animal smaller than they are that comes in your shed. So make a nice bed for the dog and he/she will be a good shed mate and keep out the rodents and snakes. Snakes won't come where a dog spends a lot of time. Thats why snakes love the chookhouse cos the dogs don't go there......

[echnidna]

I remember the old man used to say snakes were attracted by a saucer of warm milk.
Never tried it but if it works lace the milk with poison.

[JDarvall]

A good simple rule I've always used, that I got from my uncle whose was a farmer, and who came accross a snake everyday.

Just 'stay still Jake' ....he'd say.

' Doesn't matter if its the deadliest snake in the world and its sprung about to attack a foot from your face......just don't move......don't panic.. doesn't matter if your in a staring matching with it for 4 hours......it'll eventually just slide away'.

Used that advice with the few I've come accross and seemed to work. So, I never really understood blokes like Steve Irwin you see.

...just roll rocks and logs etc over from the far side with your hand.

[old_picker]

We had a hard and fast rule in the bush with snakes.

"Out in the bush leave em alone, around the house kill em dead as a stone"

[Eastie]

If you use the double barrel approach make sure you use the old lead shot and not steel - it'll ruin your blades. I've tried the stand still trick holding an irrigation pipe and the mongrel bit me fair and square just above the top lip of my blundstone.

Nowdays I always wear a hat and if I come too close to one I throw the hat towards it - this normally distracts them and hopefully triggers them to release most of their venom. From there it's your call, but I'd only ever see if he's whip shy if the head and most of the body is underneath a pile of posts or pipe as this stops them coming back on themselves.

The worst I've come across is down a mine. They tend to fall down the blower and air shafts or under the tin covering the main shaft at night. You need to be a good shot with the a moil or hammer to hit one in tight confines!

[jaspr]

Not a taipan - only occur far north.

Best to treat them all as dangerous unless you know for sure, anyway.

I just dug out my old reference book to see if I could work it out for you.

Most snakes don't climb - except pythons and tree snakes. At least I don't think so. But you do get brown snakes in that part of the country. Brown on top (may be light or dark), cream belly, but usually has some black markings - either head and nape, or dark bands across back. Flattish head. Or could just be a Children's python - which is a climber and does occur in SW WA. It's described as light brown above, lighter on the lower sides with dark blotches along the back. A dark streak through the eye. Pythons also have flat heads.

The green and yellow ones are interesting. Could be Dugites - grey, olive or brown above, head lighter, belly olive or yellowish. Found in a narrow coastal strip,of SW WA. I'd describe their heads as round - from the book - I've never seen one myself.

In any event, treat them as dangerous. Remember that most snake bites happen when people try to kill snakes. They are faster than the average human.

We have had good help from National Parks people in the past. They virtually had to dismantle a set of kitchen cupboards to extract a large brown snake that had taken up residence. Hey, that's reminded me - that area is now my workshop!

[Harry72]

Mate, crank the music up with lots of bass(sic subwoofas moit)... they don't like it for obvious reasons.

[Buzza]

GREEN!

Dingo have you been at the pain killers prescribed for the knee or is your shed really infested with the O'RILEY Python?

What I know about them is this. Once they have established a nesting spot, you can kill them off, but another will soon take its place . . Try Jack Russell instead of Jack Daniels cobber.

Rodent bait by a pest company is stronger than shop bought stuff, and that will kill off the mice, and the snakes that eat them. They want your meeces.

[Wild Dingo]

Green mate definantly green... now I know Im color blind but even I can tell a green snake when I see one the other up top was brown definantly with a whitish underbelly darker coloring on the head and just back didnt care to look much past that as the damned things eyes had my attention :eek:

I'll get onto someone tomorrow and see if they'll come get rid of them for me... damned things give me the heebie geebies

[MurrayD99]

Green mate definantly green... now I know Im color blind but even I can tell a green snake when I see one the other up top was brown definantly with a whitish underbelly darker coloring on the head and just back didnt care to look much past that as the damned things eyes had my attention :eek:

I'll get onto someone tomorrow and see if they'll come get rid of them for me... damned things give me the heebie geebies

It'll be a green mamba Dingo. Swum across from Africa. Please keep it where it is. I couldn't deal with that in my shed... UUUggghhhhhhhh.

[Vernonv]

We get a lot of black snakes and the odd brown and tiger, around our place. If you have a local WIRES mob, give them a call - they might be able to get someone out to remove them.

Next best thing I reckon (even better than a shotgun) is a 22 with rat shot.

Very effective at immobilising a snake. Then dispatch them with long handled shovel.

As far as only tree snakes and pythons climbing - I had a black snake climbing in my shed. It got caught in some yabbie nets (that I had hung up) and died. Took me a while to figure out what the smell was .