Ships of the desert

[Driver]

Hear me, O Pilgrims and I will tell you a tale of the desert.

In days long ago, there was a man who needed to travel from Al Khobar in the east of the Arab lands to Salalah on the Arabian Sea in the south. This is a long journey of many leagues. The latter part of the route passes across the sweeping sand dunes and great gravel plains of the Rhûb al Khali, the Empty Quarter where no water exists. The man knew this and he knew too that he would die a terrible death in the arid wasteland if he was not wise and cunning in his plans.

So he took himself to the bazaar and there he enquired after camels. A man said to him:

“Hie ye, O Pilgrim, to the stockade of Abdul of the Camels for he is rich in camels and rich too in the lore of the desert. Abdul of the Camels will supply you with all your needs for this great journey to the tents of the Beni Dhofari at Salalah.”

So he went thence to the stockade of Abdul of the Camels and lo, there was an abundance of the noble beasts in many different sizes and hues. He greeted Abdul wishing him peace and they sat and drank tea together. And Abdul said

“For your journey you will need four camels. One will bear you and your weapon. Two will each bear water for three days and one, more mighty than the others, will bear food for ten days and water for four days.”

And the traveller said: “By my reckoning this means I will have water enough for ten days. Will this suffice?”

“Inshallah, it will suffice,” said Abdul. “Your journey will last for fifteen days. In the early part of your journey you will travel from one oasis to the next and water will be plentiful. Our brothers the Bedouin will provide your food. Only when you traverse the Empty Quarter will you need your food store and more water. Then the water you carry will sustain you. Ten days water will suffice, O Pilgrim.”

They paused and both drank tea. Then spake Abdul again.

“There is a peril in your journey, O Pilgrim. The peril lies within the minds of your camels. As you make your way from oasis to oasis in the early part of your journey they will have much water and they may not drink so deeply. The camels do not know the Empty Quarter. To cross the gravel plains they need to store many times more water than they know. Else they will die and you will die too in the Empty Quarter with no camel to bear you. Your camels need to drink deeply from the last well at Al Ain.”

“Then I will urge them to drink deeply.” said the traveller.

“It is good.” said Abdul. “And you must brick them.”

“Brick them? What means this?”

“When they have almost drunk their fill,” said Abdul of the Camels. “Take ye two bricks and stepping behind each camel, clap the bricks together about the scrotum. This will cause the camel to take in a great draught and the extra water will serve you and the camels well in your journey.”

The man wiped water from his eyes with the edge of his keffiyeh and he said: “This bricking, does it not hurt?”

“Only,” said Abdul of the Camels, “if you trap your thumbs between the bricks.”

[Iain]

Ah, Abdul of the camels, would thou please consider bricking or gelding the source of this long winded torment.
An oldie and a goodie but Please get to the point sooner

[DaveInOz]

Don't listen to him Driver the detail was the bit I loved, very clever.

[Iain]

Yes it was well and cleverly written, but I thought it was leading up to the female camel joke.
I still maintain that if I told this on one of our fishing trips I would be assaulted by a hail of empty beer cans

[Eastie]

Wow - just found there's a maximum of 10,000 characters per post ! Iain, you have escaped my wonderful camel storey of 23,876 characters.

[Auzzie turner]

too long

[Felder]

too long

Especially considering you have just dragged it over three years, Auzzie....

[Auzzie turner]

I know, sorry, Just saw the date of the first post. I found the post by clicking on the link tom it from down the bottom of the page

[Eddie Jones]

Which reminds me......

Ever wonder why camels are called "ships of the desert"?

[Felder]

Which reminds me......

Ever wonder why camels are called "ships of the desert"?

Don't do it, Eddie........we will go Orange very quick

[Driver]

too long

Too late!

[Iain]

Don't do it, Eddie........we will go Orange very quick

What's wrong with 'full of Saudi Navy Employee's?'

[Eddie Jones]

Don't do it, Eddie........we will go Orange very quick

Lots of oranges where I live.

Ummm.....Maybe that's why they call them Navals??

[Rocker]

Squire,

This tale reminds me of a song that is greatly loved by rugger b*ggers, and rowing types; it tells how the ship of the desert got its hump, and why the Sphinx smiles inscrutably

Rocker

[Driver]

Squire,

This tale reminds me of a song that is greatly loved by rugger b*ggers, and rowing types; it tells how the ship of the desert got its hump, and why the Sphinx smiles inscrutably

Rocker

....But can you remember the chorus and its connection with a well-known brand of writing paper?