CHRIS THE GRUMPY TURNER

[ubeaut]

Once upon a time, not so long ago, in the land of Turn A Round, there lived a grumpy old woodturner called Chris. Most of the time he was just your plain old, ordinary, every day, run of the mill, grump.

But for a couple of weeks a year, usually in mid Decamber he turned into SUPER GRUMP. His lot in life seemed to be to spread the Bah Humbug message throughout the happy land of Turn A Round.

What were the once happy people of Turn A Round to do? His grumping was having an effect on the whole town, so much so that it was putting a damper on their Christmas spirit.

"Mummy," cried one little girl "is there stil going to be a Christmas this year? Everyone seems so sad because of that nasty old Grump. Do you think we should ................"

[knuckles]

get Knuckles, the wise old Wise Guy, to come and show him the error of his ways."

"Bah humbug." said thu muver. "Waddiyatorkinaboud. He hasn't done anyfin wrong. I like bein grumpy instead of happy and nice. Get wif thu program kid!"

"MOTHERRRRR!!!" screamed the little girl "You've turned, you are becoming a grump too. KNUCKLES" she yelled at the top of her voice "Where are you? If you can hear me then please come and help us. PLEASE!!!"

[RETIRED]

"Christopher", says Muvver, "you were told to burn that Christmas tree, and you didn't do it, did you? You stuffed it up the chimney and now all that green, gooey, slippery gunk is clogging the Flue and stinking the place up" She was in her stride now and Chris knew he was for it. "All this time I thought it was your fathers rotten feet and the poor bugger virtually has no skin left on em." (Probably something to do with the degreaser that I gave him to wash them) she muses to herself.

"As for what you think is an Anstell box, can't you read? It says Ansett and it was gonna be tickets to The Greatest Woodturning Expo in Exmouth with a weeks boating and sking thrown in but GUESS WHAT you ain't going. So what do you have to say now, GRUMP?