ATM MACHINES

[DPB]

ATM PROCEDURES

MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Put window up
7. Drive off

FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine
3. Set parking brake. Put the window down
4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
5. Turn the radio down
6. Attempt to insert card into machine
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card
9. Re-insert card the right way up.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required
14. Check make up in rear view mirror
15. Retrieve cash and receipt
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
17. Place receipt in back of checkbook
18. Re-check make-up again
19. Drive forwards 2 feet
20. Reverse back to cash machine
21. Retrieve card
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver in line behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26. Release Parking Brake


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Woodchuck Canuck
Good luck is the residue of good planning!

[John Saxton]

So that's why my visa has score marks on the reverse side?