The cat and I (part 2)

[Wongo]

I thought I would never feed the bastard again but I was wrong. With the in-laws are still overseas, the girls went to the Blue Mountains for a week. Poor me I have to look after the damn thing.:mad:

Today I reached new low. I fed the bastard and also changed the litter and it stunk like hell.:mad:

The wife kept reminding me to take care of the cat before they left. I said “Don’t worry, I will make it looks like an accident ”. Sadly she didn’t like my hilarious joke.

[Ian007]

A big steel bin full of water Scott put the cat in and the lid on with a brick on top, then see how long it takes for it to learn to swim underwater
then after you find out a cat does not like water like a tiger does you can light a fire under the bin and make a nice cat soup:eek:

Cheers Ian

[Ashore]

Welcome home meal sounds in order when they get back, your choice of meats.

[echnidna]

Wongo, yer not fussy
Yer love playin wif pussy
Whether slow or fast
It gives yer a real blast

NEXT VERSE ANYONE ......

[Waldo]

G'day Wongo,

I think you've missed out of my advice from Part1. As the cat rubs it's stinking carcass against your leg a chisel or better still a great big anvil falls off your bench, just where Kitty happened to be. :eek:

[Zed]

dont you live across the rad from the river ? "oops.. sorry dear... "musta drowned..."

[JDarvall]

A big steel bin full of water Scott put the cat in and the lid on with a brick on top, then see how long it takes for it to learn to swim underwater
then after you find out a cat does not like water like a tiger does you can light a fire under the bin and make a nice cat soup:eek:

Cheers Ian

Thats just horrible Ian !.....and you enjoy it too don't you ! Deary me.

Around my place its the wheely bin........ When its time for a cat to go, I tell the wife, ......' I'm going out to teach the cat how to snorkel in the wheelybin '...:eek: .....only the strays cat lovers !

[gnu52]

Look out for a similar cat to the one annoying you.......then you can have a nice warm pair of slippers. After all the one thing better than one dead cat is two dead cats.
Regards, Bill

[Andy Mac]

In a previous life I had a kitten, and living with a lass who went away for the weekend. I thought I'd do the right thing and give it (the cat ) a bit of a flea bath, so went and bought some stuff from a petfood shop...did the job, then couldn't find the cat an hour or so later, Sure enough it turned up stiff as board under the house:eek: . Turns out the bl**dy guy had sold me flea wash for dogs which is way too powerful for cats and something about licking the fur dry! Anyway, the worst of it was that this lass was convinced I'd done the cat in on purpose, and even years later when we went our own ways she still reckoned I did it to have a go at her somehow!?:confused:
Don't like the bird eating mongrels at all now, and despite pressure from children I haven't succumbed.

Cheers,

[Bulli]

I still smile to myself when I think of the joke we told as kids - what sound does a cat make when put through a bandsaw?

Meeeeeeoooooowwww.....

[Wongo]

Andy, do you still have that stuff left?

Our one next door is about 18 years old. (and it does have fleas ) I should not need much to get the job done.

[sigh] the girls love him so all I can do is joke about it.

[bitingmidge]

Don't like the bird eating mongrels at all now, and despite pressure from children I haven't succumbed.

I witnessed a meaningful exchange the other day between a friend and her five year old daughter:

"Pleeeeeeeeaaaaase can we get a cat"

"No. You know that you can have a cat once you leave home, but until then NO."

"Why don't you like cats?"

"Why don't YOU like eating vegetables?"

Silence................


P

[Zed]

rant on.

we have birds visting us all the time, you regular posters know this from the frequent pics I've posted. anyway we have a male king parrot that will land on my shoulder to bludge sunflower seeds - which I am thrilled to bits over.... they're magnificent animals, so gentle and long lived.... (hence I should have a mate for many years....)

anyway the neighbour on one side has 2 russian blue cats which are ok I reckon coz he cages them and they cant get anything except the lizards that are stupid enough to enter the cage... however the neighbour on the other side recently got himself a burmese, now if you know cats you'll know the only way to stop a burmese from hunting is to tie a bell around its neck heavy enough to stop it lifting its head....

I have seen it hunting in my yard - I promptly caught it and threw it in the pool - I havnt been able to lay hands on it since - it pisses orf as soon as it see's me... i've told the neighbour i dont want it in my yard as my yard is a bird sanctuary.

I told the neighbour - your cat is hunting in my yard - keep it out "ill be unhapy if I se it im my yard huntng etc..." he replied to me and I quote:

"Its the circle of life"
"my cat doesnt hunt, its just a kitten" (bear in mind its a BURMESE!!! & I have personally seen it stalking in MY yard!!!)

I now have a cat sized hole in my back yard "for planting some palms" . waiting.... waiting... wating....

rant off.

[bitingmidge]

"my cat doesnt hunt, its just a kitten"

... well I'm pleased about that, because that means there's no chance of it drinking the milk with paracetamol in it we leave out for the rodents each night......

4 Panadol and you've got yourself that palm tree Zed.

P
:eek: :eek: :eek:

[Wongo]

Whenever I go next door I see cat hair everywhere. I mean how much hair can the bastard have?:mad:

My FIL is with me most of the time. He always say “Don’t worry he will die soon.” I say “How soon?”

My MIL, my wife and my girls are completely opposite. They just love him.