Single woman

[normell]

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

A Litre of 2% milk,

A carton of eggs,

A Litre of orange juice,

A head of lettuce,

A can of coffee,

And one pack of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
stated,"You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued
by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her
marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"












The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly."

[bennylaird]

Same drunk was walking home and saw a woman walking her dog on the other side of the road.

He yells out, "Nice Pig!"

The woman replies in an indignant tone, "Don't be stupid you old fool, it's not a pig it's a dog!"

The drunk smiles and replies.................








"Shut up, I was talking to the dog!"


(I'm not sexist, just liked the joke, please change the words to suit your tastes lol.)