A married man's prayer :
Dear God, You gave me childhood, You took it away. You gave me youth, You took it away. You gave me a wife ... It’s been years now, just reminding You

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.
"My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight ! Why the hell did you bring him home for?"

Husband answers "Because he's thinking of getting married"

Employee : Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home ???
Boss : I am a lion at home too, But there we have a lion tamer !!!


A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife : honey ... you say prayer before eating at home.
Husband : that's at home sweetheart ... here the chef knows how to cook.



Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt :
"Please Do Not Disturb me, I am Married and already very Disturbed"