They walk amongst us.

[Old Croc]

I was at the checkout of a local Walmart.
The cashier rang up $46.64 charges.
I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64.
I gave the money back to her and told her that she
had made a mistake in MY favour.
She became indignant and informed me she was educated and
knew what she was doing, and she returned the money again.
I gave her the money back -- same scenario!
I departed the store with the $46.64.
They Walk Among Us! .....
I walked into a Starbucks with a
buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte.
I handed it to the girl and she looked over at
a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.'
"They're already buy-one- get-one-free," she said,
"so I guess they're both free."
She handed me my free lattes, and I walked out the door.
They Walk Among Us! .....
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends,
when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and asked, "Where?"
They Walk Among Us! .....
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent
which direction was north; because, he explained,
he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East,
and has for sometime; she shook her head and said,
"Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff."
They Walk Among Us!! .....
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.
One day I got a call from an individual who asked
what hours the call center was open.
I told him, "The number you dialed is open
24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
They Walk Among Us! .....
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us! .....
My friends and I went out to buy beer and noticed
that the cases were discounted 10%.
Since it was a big party, we bought two cases.
The cashier multiplied two times 10%
and gave us a 20% discount.
They Walk Among Us! .....
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area,
so I went to the lost luggage office and
told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because
she was a trained professional, and I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
So I replied, "No Ma'am, The Pilot told us we're circling the airport, 3rd in line to land" .....
They Walk Among Us! .....
While working at a pizza place, I observed
a man ordering a small pizza to go.
He appeared to be alone, and the cook asked him
if he would like it cut into four pieces or six..
He thought about it for some time before responding.
"Just cut it into four pieces.
I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat six pieces."
Yep, they walk among us;
and worse yet, the really scary part is......
THEY REPRODUCE!!!!!

I nearly choked on my brekkie reading these,
Rgds,
Crocy.

[rrich]

The Subway sandwich shop had changed hands. To get things off to a flying start they held a "Buy any sub and get one free". Of course you pay for the more expensive sub and the other is free.

I order a 12 inch and a 6 inch. It comes time to pay and leave with my subs. I look at the amount. It isn't right. I'm being charged for both subs. Subway has a regional witch (Spelled wrong) that manages these types of promotions. We go back and forth as the line behind me grows longer. "What is the definition of the word 'any'?" "It doesn't matter as the large sub is already discounted." Picking up the money I said, "We're going to make both subs free. Just make them free garbage." And then I left. Three other people left with me.

I went to another near by Subway.

[Uncle Al]

My daughter was running a dance school and was often asked "What time does the 6 O'clock class start?"
Used to drive her nuts, but they would turn up and pay their fees.

Now she works in the real estate industry, and guess what? What time is the 11.00am open house please?

Ahhhhh.

Alan...

[Simplicity]

I once painted a wall for a very nice but fussy lady,
After literally just finishing the last bit,
She pokes her head in,the colour is wrong ,I want it slightly lighter, I’m off too lunch she says.

She returns from lunch and is much happier with the what she assumes is the new colour.

I explained later that paint goes on wet and needs to dry.
I’ did many more happy jobs for her, with no input .

Cheers Matt

[Old Croc]

The Subway sandwich shop had changed hands. To get things off to a flying start they held a "Buy any sub and get one free". Of course you pay for the more expensive sub and the other is free.

I order a 12 inch and a 6 inch. It comes time to pay and leave with my subs. I look at the amount. It isn't right. I'm being charged for both subs. Subway has a regional witch (Spelled wrong) that manages these types of promotions. We go back and forth as the line behind me grows longer. "What is the definition of the word 'any'?" "It doesn't matter as the large sub is already discounted." Picking up the money I said, "We're going to make both subs free. Just make them free garbage." And then I left. Three other people left with me.

I went to another near by Subway.

Wow Rich, you are so similar to me, hopefully if and when they get this virus under control I will drop in and see you next time I am in LA.
We had a Subway restaurant in one of our biggest shopping malls newly opened and run by some Indians.
SoI order my usual 6" Ham, spinach, cucumber, onion and heaps of Jalapeno's.
No, I asked for heaps of Jalapeno's, sorry sir you will have to pay extra. W T F?
So I said you have to be kidding don't you?
No sir that's the rules.
Oh really I said. So I can have cheese, lettuce, carrot, capsaicin, dill pickles, tomato and olives all for free, but I don't eat them, but I have to pay for the extra Jalapeno's.
Yes sir that's the rules.
Well you and your shop can get stuffed and I walked off. Well the weedy little prick followed me around the food court demanding I pay for the Sub. It was only when I turned on him and threatened to knock his block off, did he leave me alone.
I never went back to that store and within 6 months it closed.
Rgds,
Crocy.

[Crunchie]

SWMBO is very conscious about which country our food comes from, especially seafood; always buy local. A few days ago, however, she had a temporary "moment". (She is in a high position in education, so should know better).
I told her I'd bought some Coorong Mullet for dinner. (For non-aussies, the Coorong is a waterway at the mouth of the Murray River).
SWMBO couldn't help herself, "Did you check where they come from?

[Chesand]

SWMBO couldn't help herself, "Did you check where they come from?

Did you answer "From the fish shop?"

[AlexS]

SWMBO is very conscious about which country our food comes from, especially seafood; always buy local. A few days ago, however, she had a temporary "moment". (She is in a high position in education, so should know better).
I told her I'd bought some Coorong Mullet for dinner. (For non-aussies, the Coorong is a waterway at the mouth of the Murray River).
SWMBO couldn't help herself, "Did you check where they come from?

Not related to 'blind mullet' are they?

[Crunchie]

Did you answer "From the fish shop?"

I did actually say, "From the supermarket". The bruise will probably go away after a week.

[Chesand]

I did actually say, "From the supermarket". The bruise will probably go away after a week.

You are lucky it is only a bruise.

[Mobyturns]

Wow Rich, you are so similar to me, hopefully if and when they get this virus under control I will drop in and see you next time I am in LA.
We had a Subway restaurant in one of our biggest shopping malls newly opened and run by some Indians.
SoI order my usual 6" Ham, spinach, cucumber, onion and heaps of Jalapeno's.
No, I asked for heaps of Jalapeno's, sorry sir you will have to pay extra. W T F?
So I said you have to be kidding don't you?
No sir that's the rules.
Oh really I said. So I can have cheese, lettuce, carrot, capsaicin, dill pickles, tomato and olives all for free, but I don't eat them, but I have to pay for the extra Jalapeno's.
Yes sir that's the rules.
Well you and your shop can get stuffed and I walked off. Well the weedy little prick followed me around the food court demanding I pay for the Sub. It was only when I turned on him and threatened to knock his block off, did he leave me alone.
I never went back to that store and within 6 months it closed.
Rgds,
Crocy.

I know how you feel Crocy & I know the outlet too.

We usually stop at a Subway between TSVL & CNS to have a Subway the original "club" and have been doing so for many years. At our favourite store in TSVL its $10.90 and was at the other until new owners took over. You guessed it - Indian owners. Now its a "Turkey Sub" + extra meat x two and considerably dearer, so that's one more customer they have lost. Try the rising sun Subway - excellent service & good value quality subs.

[rrich]

Now she works in the real estate industry, and guess what? What time is the 11.00 am open house please?

Ahhhhh.

Alan...

My reaction was an immediate, "Oh goodness, YES." Well not exactly but close enough for a family forum.

The real answer should be, "This is a really hot property. If you get there at 11. AM, you could probably be the first to submit an offer."

At times it is impossible to under estimate the stupidity of the general public.

[woodhutt]

My reaction was an immediate, "Oh goodness, YES." Well not exactly but close enough for a family forum.

The real answer should be, "This is a really hot property. If you get there at 11. AM, you could probably be the first to submit an offer."

At times it is impossible to under estimate the stupidity of the general public.

You've said a mouthful there, Rich. SWMBO works at the local council in the Compliance Service dept. ( I call it the "Complaints"Dept.) She takes all the calls from irate locals on various subjects. Among the best down the years have been;
"What's the Council going to do about the noisy cicadas? They're keeping me awake at night."
"The blossom on the trees is falling on my car. What are the Council..." (etc.).

These are just two that have stuck n my memory and make me despair. It's scary to think that these people probably hold down jobs. I just hope, not in critical professions.
Pete

[damian]

My reaction was an immediate, "Oh goodness, YES." Well not exactly but close enough for a family forum.

The real answer should be, "This is a really hot property. If you get there at 11. AM, you could probably be the first to submit an offer."

At times it is impossible to under estimate the stupidity of the general public.

Many years ago Elizabeth and I were walking through a local house built on a concrete slab. There was a huge upwelling in the dinging room under teh table, something between 6" and 12" and maybe a couple of feet across. People walking through the room telling each other how lovely the place was, Elizabeth pointed to the upwelling, SEVERAL, not one but several groups looked at us like we were trying to con them out of making an offer. I think some even had some nasty words. They couldn't see it. It was huge and they just couldn't see it....

Oh well whoever bought it had some serious underpinning to do...

[rrich]

Having lived along both coasts of the US and bought houses on both at different times, I've learned some real estate terms.

Eastern area: "Pride of ownership", ca-ching, another 10% please.
Western area: "Curb appeal", ca-ching, 'You cant see anything from the curb and I'll make you blind to the actual faults, another 10%.
All areas: "Newly redecorated", ca-ching, The home owner slapped some very cheap paint on the walls before they moved on.
All areas: "New wall to wall carpet. Oh goodness what do the floors really look like?