Breaktrough in Science

[Breslauer]

A major research institution has announced the
discovery of the heaviest element yet know to science
- "governmentium." It has 1 neutron, 12 assistant
neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy
neutrons for an atomic mass of 312. These 312
particles are held together by forces called morons
that are further surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like sub particles called peons.



Governmentium has no electrons and is therefore inert.
It can be detected however since it impedes every
reaction it comes into contact with. A tiny amount of
governmentium can take a reaction that normally
occurs in seconds and slow it to the point where it
take days.

Governmentium has a normal half life of three years.
It doesn't decay but "re- organizes", a process where
assistant deputy neutrons and deputy neutrons change
places. This process actually causes it to grow as in
the confusion some morons become neutrons, thereby
forming isodopes.

This phenomenon of "moron promotion" has led to some
speculation that governmentium forms whenever
sufficient morons meet in concentration forming
critical morass. Researches believe that in
Governmentium, the more you re- organize, the morass
you cover.

[Landseka]

So...you HAVE spent some time in Australia then I take it?

Regards

Neil

[rod1949]

Hey! I work for that government.

[Barry_White]

Hey! I work for that government.

So are you a neutron, assistant neutron, deputy neutron, assistant deputy neutron, moron or a peon.

[Daddles]

So are you a neutron, assistant neutron, deputy neutron, assistant deputy neutron, moron or a peon.

Didn't you know Barry, as soon as you are able to recognise your position in the hierachy, you get outsourced

Richard

[Robert WA]

Outsauced is when they just squirt the sauce on top of the pie. Insauced is when the sauce bottle has a nozzle and they squirt it right inside the pie.

[DavidG]

It would be funny if it wasn't so true.

[fenderbelly]

would we make this up

[BobL]

This is the version floating around our institution:

"The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists at a British government research laboratory. The element, tentatively named Administratium [Ad], has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistent neutrons, 75 vice-neutrons and 111 assistent vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally occur in less than one second. Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes reorganisation in which neutrons, assistent neutrons, vice-neutrons, and assistent vice-neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganisation.

Research at other laboratories indicates that Adminstratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations and universities, and can even be found in the newest, best appointed and maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.

[joe greiner]

BobL is correct. Governmentium is a subspecies of Administratium. Administratium has been discovered in many, many institutions, including for-profit and not-for-profit corporations, clubs, and most major religions.

Joe

[ian]

snip
Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes reorganisation in which neutrons, assistent neutrons, vice-neutrons, and assistent vice-neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganisation.
snip

Bob

The phenomina you describe is an example of the Mintzberg uncertainty principal.

Some researchers postulate that the atomic composition of Administratium is unknowable — the element mutates into a different form after every examination



ian

[Rodgera]

" Some researchers postulate that the atomic composition of Administratium is unknowable — the element mutates into a different form after every examination

ian"
AND after every election