Maxine, 2017 TF Publishing
January - May you have a prosperous New Year. I might need to borrow some money.
February - The good men are already married. So that leaves the bad boys for me. SWEET
March - I’d do dome spring cleaning, but then I’d just have to turn around and do it again next spring.
April - I won’t say that my memory’s bad, but it’s at the point now that I can hide my own Easter eggs.
May - All Moms have a way about them. The right way in case you were wondering.
June - In life, there’s no free lunch. Unless you crash an outdoor wedding reception. Then there’s free cake and booze, too!
July - I’m as American as apple pie, if you don’t mind a little extra crust.
August - There’s always someone obnoxious on the beach. If you don’t like it, then stay away from me.
September - Think of raking leaves as Mother Nature’s way of getting you in shape for shoveling snow.
October - Trick-or-treaters can be so cute. Imagine coming to my door and expecting to get something for free.
November - It’s hard to be Thankful when you’re stuffing bread crumbs up a cold turkey’s butt at 5 AM.
December - I like to look at Christmas through the eyes of a child. A really greedy child.

Maxine is just an old crotchety old witch. (Intentionally misspelled to get past the nanny filter.)

Unfortunately most of it is based upon the Northern hemisphere seasons.