Politics Explained

[Rodgera]

How do you tell the difference between a liberal, a conservative, and Labor?

Easy. Watch a man drowning twenty metres offshore.

The conservative will throw out 20 metre of rope and shout "swim for it!"

The liberal will toss out 30 metres of rope, drop his own end, and go
off to do another good deed.

Labor would throw out an 18 metre rope and say, "we tried to help".

[Allan at Wallan]

C'mon, you are stringing us along.

[BobL]

You forgot to mention the similarities.

They would all set up subcommittees to decide on when to hold the committee meetings to determine the length of rope.
The committees would setup independent think tanks and hire consultants to determine that there should be the word fact finding tour on the lengths of ropes.
And when it didn't get through parliament there would be be a non binding survey of voters at a cost of over $100 million.
And then there would not be enough money in the budget to provide ropes that were not long enough.

[Rodgera]

Labor would throw out an 18 metre rope and say, "we tried to help".

They, of course had to "Shorten" up a bit.

[Chief Tiff]

You forgot a couple:

The One Nation chap would investigate the genealogy of the drowning man and use that information as the basis for calculating the desired length to use

The Green would refuse to throw any rope unless it was proven that it was made from recycled materials using renewable energy by indigenous tribesmen practising government subsidised traditional rope making techniques unique to their generic culture... and so biodegradable it dissolves in contact with water.

[Bohdan]

But then they all noticed that the drowning man was actually too young to vote - so they let him drown.