Stupid Things Actually Said by Football Commentators

[Rodgera]

1. Well, it's Liverpool two, Ipswich nil, and if the score stays this
way, I've got to fancy Liverpool for the win.

2. He had an eternity to play that ball, but took too long.

3. And so they have not been able to improve on their 100% record.

4. With the last kick of the game, he scored with a header.

5. Well, it's a fabulous kaleidoscope of color: almost all the
Brazilians are wearing yellow shirts.

6. If that had gone on, it would definitely have been a goal.

7. Their manager isn't here today, which strongly suggests that he
may be elsewhere.

8. I am a firm believer that if one team scores a goal, the other
need to score two to win.

9. If a team scores early on, it often takes an early lead.

10. You cannot possibly have counted the number of passes made, but
there were eight.

[AlexS]

The late, great Rex Mossop (aka Rocks Messup):

In a quote that brings a broad grin to this day, Mossop declared that he didn’t need “the male genitalia rammed down my throat” which was reason enough to “collar” the naked man.