How To Give A Cat A Pill

[groverwa]

How To Give A Cat A Pill

If you have ever tried to give a cat a pill you know

how difficult it is. The following instructions are fool proof!

1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm
as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either
side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while
holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from under chair. Cradle cat
in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take a new pill from foil wrap. Cradle cat in left arm holding
rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill
to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top
of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between the knees. Holding
front and rear paws, ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse
to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler
into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
Make a note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully
sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set aside for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with it's head
just visible from beneath spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking
straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.

9. Check label to make sure that pill is not harmful to humans. Drink
glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm
and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10.Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in
cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force
mouth open with spoon, flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply
cold compress to cheek and check records for last tetanus shot.
throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call the fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid
cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly
to leg of dining room table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from garage.
Force cat's mouth open with small trowel. Push pill into mouth followed}
by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint
of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly
while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes pill remnants
from right eye. Stop by furniture store on the way home to order
a new table.

15. Arrange for vet to make housecall.

[Chesand]

I can relate to that. It took three of us half an hour to clip one toenail of our old dog some years ago. There was much spitting and hissing from this otherwise very good natured dog. We never tried again and left it to the vet.

[KBs PensNmore]

I can relate to giving a cat a tablet, we have a cat that was feral as a kitten, she's now 12 YO, even the Vet can't get a tablet down her throat!!!!!!!

[rrich]

Hysterical! I have not laughed so hard in many years.

We had a dog like that. Our solution was to crush the pill between two spoons. Add a bit of water to dissolve or make a bit of mud with the crushed pill. Use an eye dropper (or syringe if the vet will give you one) to suck up the pill mud. Force the dog's mouth open and squirt the mud down the back of the dogs mouth. You won't get all the mud out of the eye dropper but enough to medicate the dog.
This dog did not like peanut butter.

With another dog all we did was to put the pill in a gob of peanut butter and for it, the pill was a treat.

[CAG]

That's almost how we did it too!!! Towel with the slightest bit of cat protruding, wasted, soggy pills, etc.
Cat on Pelmet.JPG

[MrSunny]

That's almost how we did it too!!! Towel with the slightest bit of cat protruding, wasted, soggy pills, etc.
Cat on Pelmet.JPG

Cool, you made it to step 7, only 8 more to go!

[CAG]

Alas, our beautiful catmaster passed away last year.