Finally, a chain letter i like

[doug the slug]

We all get them, chain emails. i dont get any where near as many as i used to since a friend sent me this one a year or so ago. now whenever someone sends me a chain letter i just send this one back to them. if they send me another one after that i send it back to them again but this time i "accidentally" hit the REPLY ALL button on the email and all their friends get it too. Does any one else have a favourite chainletter like this?



FINALLY A CHAIN LETTER THAT I LIKE!

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly
diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped
and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion
******* chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send
them on, then that poor ******* 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her
forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her
redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone
you send his email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll
down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy Bunny in the
magazine! What a bunch o f ******* ********.

So basically, this message is a big **** YOU to all the people out there
who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe
the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in
my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Ceaser in 5 A.D. and
was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes
it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest
continuous streak of blatant stupidity.

**** them!

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly
******* amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends, and
this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a Nickel from
some omniscient being forwards about 90 times. I don't ******* care. Show a
little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by
sending out forwards. Chances a re it's your own unpopularity.


THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:

Chain Letter Type 1:
(scroll down)


Make a wish!!!




Keep Scrolling



No, really, go on and make one!!!





Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!





Not that, you pervert!!






STOP!!!!


Wasn't that fun?
Hope you made a great wish


Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you
don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad
goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.

It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like those fake ones, THIS one is
TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:

*Send this to 1 person: One person will be ****** off at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be ****** off at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be ****** off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.

*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be ****** off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house. Thanks!!!! Good
Luck!!!

Chain Letter Type 2

Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving
little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and
no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass
this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless
Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.

Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent
and this is all a complete load of ********. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5
people in the next 47 seconds.

Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you
will die instantly.

Thanks again!!


Chain Letter Type 3

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is
absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many
sad pricks with nothing better to do.

So this is how it works... Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7
minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently
received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the
sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie,
and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.
This Could Happen To You!!!

*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored
it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some
people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat
adorable kittens every day for eternity.

This Could Happen To You Too!!! Remember, you could end up just like
Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and
everything will be okay.


Chain Letter Type 4

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.
Send it to all your friends.

FRIENDS:

A friend is someone who is always at your side.

A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full
of assholes.

A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself.

A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your
sad, sad life.

A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you
should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs.

A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the
check and leaves and doesn't speak much English...no, sorry that's the cleaning
lady.

A friend is NOT someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his
wish of being rich to come true.

Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again!


The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave
you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny,
send it on. Don't **** people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose
only savior is the 5 cents per
letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up
like Miranda. Right?

Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise you'll find all your
knickers missing tomorrow morning!

[kekemo]

LOL
I need a friend to send it to now....
One that will understand how I feel about b l o o d y f u c * i n g chain letters......
LOL love it.
Can you see about a condensed version please?

Keep up the good work, thanks for the humour!