What happened to Monday?

[Cliff Rogers]

This guy went to hell and was roaming around checking it out when another guy came up and introduced himself and welcomed him to hell.

"Do you like to drink?" said the host.

"Oh yeah, on earth i was a real drinker...I really like straight whiskey."

"Well you're going to love tuesdays.We all get nasty drunk and then go round up some trouble. the neat thing is, you can't get arrested for drunk driving and you won't get killed in a wreck cause you're already dead. You're going to love tuesdays! How about drugs ,do you like to do drugs?"

"Well,I dabbled with drugs a little when i was in college..."

You're going to love wednesdays, we have anything you want here in hell and the great thing is you can't overdose cause you're already dead! How about gambling,do you like to gamble?"

"Yeah, I love to gamble. Used to go to Vegas 3 times a year until I went broke and had to declare bankruptcy."

"You're going to love thursdays, we all gamble with anything we want and blah,blah,blah. Are you gay? Do you like the gay life?"

"No I'm not into that."

"You're going to hate fridays."

[goat]

One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in
despair, he had his first meeting with a demon.

The demon asked, "Why so glum?"

The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down
here. You a drinking man?"

"Sure," the man said, "I love to drink."

"Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink.
Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca We drink till
we throw up and then we drink some more!"

The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great.

"You a smoker?" the demon asked.

"You better believe it!"

"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the

world and smoke our lungs out! . If you get cancer, no biggie. You're

already dead, remember?"

"Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!"

The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."

"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do"

"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker,

slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into

drugs?"

The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . ."

"That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of

crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the

drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!"

"Wow," the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never

realized Hell was such a cool place!"

The demon said, "You gay?"

"No."

"Ooooh, you're gonna hate Friday !!!