satnav

[fenderbelly]

Doesn't apply to me now but i know it to be true.

I have a little SATNAV

It sits there in my car
A SATNAV is a driver's friend
It tells you where you are

I have a little SATNAV
I've had it for most of my life
It does more than the normal one
My SATNAV is my wife

It gives me full instructions
On exactly how to drive
"It's sixty kays an hour" it says
"And you're doing sixty five"

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front
It lists those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear

I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice

It fills me up with counselling
Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house
Makes sure I'm properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things
And - keeps me warm in bed!

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[Cliff Rogers]

I've got one that talks in her sleep.