Diary of a K1W1 in Brisbane

[vsquizz]

Following on to a recent thread about Victorian weather:

August 31st: Just got transferred with work into our new home in Brisbane

Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.

What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.


September 13th: Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.

What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

September 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

October 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.

October 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate

October 20th:I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen
up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat *****. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

October 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.

October 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

November 4th: It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.

November 8th: If another wise **** cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

November 9th: Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my **** was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my ****. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ****, and baked cat.

November 10th: The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.

November 14th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my a**e out of jail for assaulting the repairman. Bloody Brisbane

What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?

December 1st WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f***ing kidding.

[echnidna]

That's why smart Qlder's move to Victoria!!
The wankers have to stay to keep the kiwi's company.

[soundman]

That right bob its a terrible place, tell all your friends.
Remind all those relatives of yours who drive the nice clean 4WDs its too hot & they should moove back south.

[bitingmidge]

OK so I got the code a bit wrong when I pasted it so you'll have to scroll down a bit...a lot.... a real lot....but if it don't prove the people who choose to live in Brisneyland are wasting their money on Air Conditioning, noting will!!! (Kiwi's are sooks anyway!!)

If this data don't send all you jealous little marsupials scurrying north, then the flood from Lleyton Hewitt's persperation last night will!!

Month	Max Temp C	Humidity %	Min Temp C	Rainfall mm
January	29	66	21	161
February	29	69	21	157
March	28	71	19	140
April	26	70	17	89
May	23	71	13	73
June	21	71	11	69
July	20	69	10	57
August	22	63	10	47
September	24	60	13	47
October	26	59	16	77
November	28	59	18	97
December	29	61	20	134

"Brisbane has a fabulous truly comfortable sub-tropical climate ideal for outdoor enjoyment all-year round that averages 245 days of fine and sunny weather each year. Brisbane has an average rainfall of about 1400mm annually, the majority of which falls in the summer period. Daytime temperatures on the coastal strip are generally in the twenties (Centigrade). In winter clear skies and drier air are associated with cool nights."

P (There's more than one way to pleasure oneself!)

[echnidna]

Anyone who drives a nice clean 4WD is a wanker, so they are needed up there to entertain you lot if you run out of Kiwi's.

[bitingmidge]

Clean 4WD, funny football supporter and Victorian!!!


A Melbourne supporter opened the door of his Range Rover, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious Range Rover.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Range Rover!!!" he whined.

"You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid car, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

"Oh my god....", replied the Demon, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex!?!?!"


Ahh don't you just love it when the organic fertilizer hits the environmental controller!!!

Cheers,

P

[echnidna]

Intertesting chart BM.
Do you realise it proves Brissy has almost twice the rainfall of Melbourne.

[Sturdee]

That right Bob its a terrible place, tell all your friends.

Agreed, my inlaws live there. Thank God we have no man's land in between. Limits their visits to once a year instead of once a day.


Peter.

[echnidna]

Well Qlder's and Vicn's should note this thread was started by a sandgroper so maybe we should pool our collective efforts and pick on them that lives on the far edge.

[bitingmidge]

Intertesting chart BM.
Do you realise it proves Brissy has almost twice the rainfall of Melbourne.

But it only rains two afternoons a month there!!

P

[echnidna]

But it only rains two afternoons a month there!!

P

So its either dry and dusty or here come the floods.

[vsquizz]

Well Qlder's and Vicn's should note this thread was started by a sandgroper

[bitingmidge]

So its either dry and dusty or here come the floods.

Perfect weather for building boats, and plenty of reasons to use them too!!

Paradise!!



P

[echnidna]

If the winds in WA changed direction reckon Squizzy's lot would all get blown over the edge.
Apart from Sand and Jarrah they really don't have much so they are really just Western Kiwi's.
So Squizzy do you lot use rubber boots??

[vsquizz]

If the winds in WA changed direction reckon Squizzy's lot would all get blown over the edge.

Nope, its just a reversal of the dust extraction system

2 Questions

1. Whats rain??
2. What are boots??

Cheers