One for the ladies.... may offend some guys

[gemi_babe]

MUST BE SUNG TO THE TUNE OF "I will Survive"

At first I was afraid,
I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches
Lord I almost died,
But I'd spent oh so many yrs
just waiting for a man that long,
That I Grew strong,
And I knew that I could take you on. . .

But there you are,
Another lie,
I was ready for a big mac
and you've bought me a French fry,
I should have known that it was bull****, Just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.

Go on now go,
Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches
then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out,
Don't you know we' re only joking when we say size doesn't count.

(Chorus)
I will survive,
I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex
with a handful of latex,
I will survive,
I will survive. . .hey . hey

It took all my self control
not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner
standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your ego's
and to hell with all your Needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin
for a cordless multispeed,

Go on now go,
Just Make a dash,
Last time I saw a prick that small was watching Gladstone run nude hash,
I should have asked for confirmation,
Should have asked for referees,
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me.

Go on now go,
Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers,
Cos I'll always throw them back,
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick Dip it in tomato sauce.

(Chorus)
I will survive,
I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex
with a handful of latex,
I will survive,
I will survive. . .hey . hey

Go on now go,
Get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance,
Cos I know it's length is right,
And if I ever see your tiny tockley at my door,
You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor.
Go on now Go!

[Perthite]

I will survive my mid life crisis in spite of it all.......at two thirty in the morning its too hard (no pun intended) to think of a smart reply but i am sure some quicker minds than mine will say it how it really is..............

Good one...Gemi

[Rowan]

:eek: 10"...............hell I got 12" we are talking about saws arent we????

[craigb]

So you're saying size DOES matter ? :eek:

[Zed]

imnot offended - but how come you can write the word "bull****" and not get ****'ed
bull****
bull****
bull****
bull****
bull****
bull****
bull****
bull****

[Zed]

bugger me! bull**** obviously aint a swear word, I think i'll bull**** more often...

besides theres so much bull**** on this forum that some more bull**** from me wont make any difference to the bull**** already here that you other bull******** bull**** with whilst bull******** this on this website.

[Termite]

The great omniscient overlord of the forum will get you if you dont watch out, just like the little boy who kept poking the tiger in the eye.
Kind regards
Termite

[Christopha]

That's not a prick...
THIS is a prick!!!!!!

[Grunt]

Chris,

That's impressive. Must be a bit of a pain to put back in your pants though. Do you find it puts you off balance?

Grunt

[Christopha]

Me? Balanced?? What a ridiculous concept!
:confused: :confused: :confused:

[Alastair]

Christopha

Methinks we should complain to the moderators about this disgusting post, and have it removed before some poor blushing bloke is terminally scarred.

Alastair

[gemi_babe]

It seems the swearing police have caught up with the BS.

[Grunt]

Yeah Zed, you blew it. Now all of the can't use ******** we have to use ******** or ******** or ********.

[Termite]

To ZED.
Told ya so
Kind regards
Termite

[AlexS]

It's quite apparent that 'ants' is inappropriate language! As in bullants.