"How Old Am I?"

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and
feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a
newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I
hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35," was the reply.

"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.

After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same
question.

The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29".

"I am actually 47."

Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same
question.

She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was
young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down
your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell
you your exact age."

As there was no one around, the man thinks "What the hell!", and lets her
slip her hand down his pants.

Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."

Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"

The old lady smiles at him and replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."