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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    South Australia
    Age
    65
    Posts
    0

    Default Don't Mess With Mature Ladies

    A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding...

    Older Woman:
    Is there a problem, Officer?

    Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

    Older Woman: Oh, I see.

    Officer: Can I see your license please?

    Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

    Officer: Don't have one?

    Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

    Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

    Older Woman: I can't do that.

    Officer: Why not?

    Older Woman: I stole this car.

    Officer: Stole it?

    Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

    Officer: You what?

    Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

    The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

    Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

    Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

    Officer 2:
    One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

    Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

    Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

    The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

    Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

    Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

    The officer is quite stunned.

    Officer 2:
    One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

    The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

    The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

    Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner..

    Older Woman:
    Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    belgrave
    Age
    61
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Who you callin' mature?

    anne-maria.
    T
    ea Lady

    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Sydney
    Age
    94
    Posts
    0

    Default

    That's a beauty, WoodJunky, thanks.

    Glad to see you back, tea lady.

  4. #4
    rrich Guest

    Default

    Good one.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Pretty Sally Hill, Wallan Vic
    Age
    85
    Posts
    0

    Default

    I liked that.

    Allan
    Life is short ... smile while you still have teeth.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Shepparton *ugh*
    Age
    49
    Posts
    107

    Default

    HAH!! I'll have to try that one. It's easier than the other one I'm keeping in mind...

    "Sir, you've turned in the wrong direction on this road. Didn't you see the arrows?"
    "Arrows? I didn't even see the Indians!"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Tallahassee FL USA
    Age
    82
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Use it with care. I sent it to a friend, and he sent it to a cop friend, and it'll be back in Australia real soon.

    Cheers,
    Joe
    Of course truth is stranger than fiction.
    Fiction has to make sense. - Mark Twain

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Avoca Victoria
    Age
    81
    Posts
    7,790

    Default

    What I want to know is why my Mum was out so late

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    belgrave
    Age
    61
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by watson View Post
    What I want to know is why my Mum was out so late


    Acshully, I reckon this joke would work with the driver being a bloke too. Maybe a real innocent looking one with glasses and pens in his pocket.
    anne-maria.
    T
    ea Lady

    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    North of the coathanger, Sydney
    Age
    69
    Posts
    0

    Default

    superb
    regards
    Nick
    veni, vidi,
    tornavi
    Without wood it's just ...

  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Pretty Sally Hill, Wallan Vic
    Age
    85
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tea lady View Post


    Acshully, I reckon this joke would work with the driver being a bloke too. Maybe a real innocent looking one with glasses and pens in his pocket.
    Plenty of us with glasses and pens in the pocket ... just a bit
    harder to find innocent ones.

    Allan
    Life is short ... smile while you still have teeth.

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