Pearly Gates 1

[Grumpy John]

A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?'

St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.'

'Oh,' said the man. 'Whose clock is that?'

'That's Mother Teresa's,' replied St. Peter. 'The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.'

'Incredible,' said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?'

St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.'

'Where's Kevin Rudd's clock?' asked the man.

St Peter replied, 'God has it in his office. He uses it as a ceiling fan.

[Lignin]

Fair shake of the sauce.........

[groverwa]

or Suck of the Sav

[damian]

You could use Anna Bligh's as a jet engine...

[groverwa]

You could use Anna Bligh's as a jet engine

From what I see from here in the West I would have thought: -

You could use Anna Bligh as a Whoopie Cushion

[tea lady]

now that John Howard's has slowed down for some reason.