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Thread: Heaven

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Garvoc VIC AUSTRALIA
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    3,208

    Default Heaven

    An Aussie dies and goes to heaven.


    As he stands in front of the pearly gates, he sees a huge wall of clocks behind him.


    "What area all the clocks for?" he asks St. Peter,
    "They are lie clocks. Everyone has one and the hands move each time you lie" replies Peter.


    "Oh" says the aussie "Who’s clock is that?"


    "Thats Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved therefore telling us that she had never lied in her life. Next to that is Abraham Lincolns it has only moved twice telling us he has only lied twice in his lifetime" explains Peter.


    The aussie is stunned he continues to look for a few minutes then asks peter "Where is John Howard’s clock?"


    "Its in Jesus’ office" exclaims Peter, "He is using it for a ceiling fan
    Regards, Bob Thomas

    www.wombatsawmill.com

  2. #2
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    Feb 2003
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    Default

    not even one wisecrack after a day :eek: :eek:
    Regards, Bob Thomas

    www.wombatsawmill.com

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Western Sydney
    Posts
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    Default

    I thought it was funny and I voted for the rodent. Didn't have much choice considering the alternative.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Hell with fluro lighting
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    55
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    Default

    I even considerd voting for Fred Nile, so I didnt have to vote for him.
    I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

    My Other Toys

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Melbourne
    Age
    51
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    119

    Default

    Was it a joke? I thought you were serious....

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    Sydney
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    Default

    I don't get it.

    Visit my website at www.myFineWoodWork.com

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Sale
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    69
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    558

    Default

    So dead on the nail that no further comment was really necessary.

    John

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
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    Minbun, FNQ, Australia
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    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by echnidna
    not even one wisecrack after a day :eek: :eek:
    Old joke, the names have been changed a bit over the years.
    Cliff.
    If you find a post of mine that is missing a pic that you'd like to see, let me know & I'll see if I can find a copy.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Yinnar, Victoria, Australia
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    66
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    247

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coldamus
    I thought it was funny and I voted for the rodent. Didn't have much choice considering the alternative.
    Your a brave man for admitting that!.. how many reddies have you got since your post
    I try and do new things twice.. the first time to see if I can do it.. the second time to see if I like it
    Kev

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Toowoomba Q 4350
    Posts
    3,491

    Default

    Funny? - yes

    True? - unfortunately very much so!!! :mad:

    bye bye johnny.....

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Japan。
    Age
    49
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    37

    Default

    Brudda, I thought he voted for Mickey Mouse.

    A ' rodent' ??? I doubt I could be quite so nice about it...

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    Default

    Would like to point out the fact that all ceiling fans rotate anti-clockwise.
    Visit my website at www.myFineWoodWork.com

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Western Sydney
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Schtoo
    A ' rodent' ??? I doubt I could be quite so nice about it...
    Schtoo,

    Being overseas, you probably miss some of the political scandals here. One of little Johnnie's own senators allegedly referred to him as a "lying rodent" and the tag has stuck, basically because he lives up to it so well. See here for details:

    http://www.theage.com.au/articles/20...?from=storyrhs

    regards
    Coldamus

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
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    Minbun, FNQ, Australia
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wongo
    Would like to point out the fact that all ceiling fans rotate anti-clockwise.
    Another picky bugger.
    Cliff.
    If you find a post of mine that is missing a pic that you'd like to see, let me know & I'll see if I can find a copy.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
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    Westleigh, Sydney
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    1,332

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wongo
    Would like to point out the fact that all ceiling fans rotate anti-clockwise.
    Depends where you're looking from.
    Visit my website
    Website
    Facebook

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