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Thread: Duz tha speak Yorkshire
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21st June 2011, 04:04 PM #1
Duz tha speak Yorkshire
A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."
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A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"
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A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "She were thine" engraved on it.
He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral.
True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look..
When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "She were thin".
He explodes: "'ells bells man, you've left the blood y "e" out, you've left the blood y "e" out!"
The stone mason apologises profusely and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.
Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason: "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".
The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud:
"E, she were thin".
.............................................................................
Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell ar_e cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"Cheers Fred
The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with the light on.
http://www.redbubble.com/people/fredsmi ... t_creative"
Updated 26 April 2010
http://sites.google.com/site/pomfred/
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21st June 2011, 08:16 PM #2
All good, but I particularly liked the headstone one.
To grow old is inevitable.... To grow up is optional
Confidence, the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation.
What could possibly go wrong.
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24th June 2011, 09:32 AM #3
took me a while on some of them. Agreed about the headstone
Cheers,
Dave
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24th June 2011, 09:43 AM #4
Fred top marksliked em awl
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2nd July 2011, 07:54 PM #5
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funny to me i was born there.
'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'
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2nd July 2011, 08:18 PM #6
I know of someone, I think his real name is Adrian, but as he came from yorkshire and followed the traditional greeting of "Ayup," all his workmates nicknamed him, you've guessed it, "Ayup."
However this greeting is a little infectious and they started to adopt it amongst themselves. When they greeted Adrian, of course, it became,
"Ayup, Ayup!"
Regards
PaulBushmiller;
"Power tends to corrupt. Absolute power corrupts, absolutely!"
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2nd July 2011, 08:36 PM #7
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after yorkshire we moved to just outside london ( stevenage ) and instead of "ayup " the greeting is " watcha "
'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'
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2nd July 2011, 09:00 PM #8
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4th July 2011, 01:49 PM #9
Here's a Londoner who grew up with the spelling "Wotcher". Sometimes got the response "Why? What's she doing?"
- Michael
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4th July 2011, 05:43 PM #10
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6th November 2019, 05:46 AM #11
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Lol
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6th November 2019, 09:33 AM #12
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I taught with a guy who was on a one-year teacher exchange from Yorkshire, teaching Physical Education. One day he came into the PE office and asked "Where's Eric?" When met with numerous denials of knowing "Eric", he kept asking "No, where's Eric?" After quite a bit of questioning from other staff about Eric, no-one of that name being at the school, he finally said, "You know; Eric to rek the long jump pit!!!"
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7th November 2019, 07:35 AM #13rrich Guest
The only Duz I kow is what my mother used:
Duz.jpg
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7th November 2019, 09:24 PM #14
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Apparently years ago, the OMO packet used to sit on the laundry window sill, letting the milkman/baker know the the Husband was out, Old Man Out. Occasionally it was known for the packet to be turned upside down, letting the lady next door know the wife was out, Old Woman Out.
KrynTo grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
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7th November 2019, 10:24 PM #15
You had to dig deep for that one Kyn
The person who never made a mistake never made anything
Cheers
Ray
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