Australia day

[chambezio]

Thursday is Australia Day! My international friends may understand me a little more if they read this. My Aussie friends will just nod and say "Yep!" You know you're Australian if: * You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn. (And you know what stubbies are!) * You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something. * You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'. You believe the 'L' in the word 'Australia' is optional. * You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.' * You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep. * You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'. * You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place. * You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife. * You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin. * You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'. * You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You've also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms. * You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis. * Beetroot with your Hamburger... Of course. * You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again' And "Living next door to Alice". * You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year. * You believe that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance. * You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them. * Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language. * You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, While 'scuse me' is always polite. * You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose. * You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron. * Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket. * You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'. * You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'. * When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer. * You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc. * You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere...no matter where you actually are. * * You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like ####. But we let the world think we do. Because we can. * You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume. * You've only ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you REALLY mean it. * You know that the barbecue is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the Salad. * You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not. * You understand what no wucking furries means. * You've drank your tea/coffee/Milo through a Tim Tam. * You own a Bond's chesty. In several different colours. * You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, But not as good as barra. Or a meat pie. * You know that some people pronounce Australia like "Straya" and that's ok. * And you will forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand!!!

[crowie]

Ripper, "chambezio"........cheers, crowie

[Grumpy John]

Australian Government
Department of Immigration and
Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs
Application for Grant of Australian Citizenship

You must answer 75% (28 or more out of 37) of these questions correctly in order to qualify for Australian Citizenship

1. How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?

2. When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first?

3. Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze. And ham. In 40C heat.
c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.

4. How many beers in a slab?

5. You call that a knife, this is a knife.
True or False?

6. Does "yeah-nah" mean
a) "Yes and no"
b) "Maybe"
c) "Yes I understand but No I don't agree"?

7. The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character?
a) Toadie from Neighbours
b) Alf from Home & Away
c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection
d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?

8. When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages
a) Once or twice
b) As often as necessary to cook
c) After each stubby
d) Until charcoal?

9. Name three of the Daddo brothers.

10. Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?

11. Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
a) Drinking beer at a mate's place
b) Drinking beer at the beach
c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?

12. Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza?

13. How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?

14. How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h?

15. Who are Scott and Charlene?

16. How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?
a) Squirt and spread with finger
b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?

17. If the police raided your home would you:
a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items
b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?

18. Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest?

19. Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?

20. Thongs are:
a) Skimpy underwear
b) Casual footwear
c) They're called jandals, bro?

21. On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best?
a) 1993
b) 1997
c) 2001
d) 2005

22. What is someone more likely to die of:
a) Red Back Spider
b) Great White Shark
c) Victorian Police Officer
d) King Brown Snake
e) Your missus after a big night
f) Dropbear?

23. How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?

24. Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sanh?

25. Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....

26. Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.

27. Who is current Australian test cricket captain:
a) Michael Clarke
b) Don Bradman
c) John Howard
d) Makybe Diva?

28. Is it best to take a sick day on:
a) When the cricket's on
b) When the cricket's on
c) When the cricket’s on?

29. What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?

30. What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?

31. What are Budgie smugglers?

32. What brand and size of Esky will you be purchasing?

33. Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?

34. A "Hoppoate" is:
a) A breed of kangaroo
b) A kind of Australian "wedgie"
c) A disgraced Rugby League player?

35. What does having a 'chunder' mean?

36. When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?

37. What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean?

Your Score ………….

[Grumpy John]

Good one chambezio .

From Wikipedia:

Iconic live audience chorus
Starting when The Angels were a pub band their song "Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again" has received an iconic response from audiences. Whenever Doc Neeson sang the words of the Angels' classic love song 'Am I Ever Going to See Your Face Again?' back came the ingenious response: 'No way, get f###ed, f### off'.^[16]
Whilst outside Australia this may have been seen as a negative response, from an Australian audience and in the context of the Australian sense of humour this was recognised as high praise.

[crowie]

Australian Government
Department of Immigration and
Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs
Application for Grant of Australian Citizenship

You must answer 75% (28 or more out of 37) of these questions correctly in order to qualify for Australian Citizenship

1. How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?

2. When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first?

3. Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze. And ham. In 40C heat.
c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.

4. How many beers in a slab?

5. You call that a knife, this is a knife.
True or False?

6. Does "yeah-nah" mean
a) "Yes and no"
b) "Maybe"
c) "Yes I understand but No I don't agree"?

7. The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character?
a) Toadie from Neighbours
b) Alf from Home & Away
c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection
d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?

8. When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages
a) Once or twice
b) As often as necessary to cook
c) After each stubby
d) Until charcoal?

9. Name three of the Daddo brothers.

10. Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?

11. Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
a) Drinking beer at a mate's place
b) Drinking beer at the beach
c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?

12. Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza?

13. How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?

14. How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h?

15. Who are Scott and Charlene?

16. How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?
a) Squirt and spread with finger
b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?

17. If the police raided your home would you:
a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items
b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?

18. Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest?

19. Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?

20. Thongs are:
a) Skimpy underwear
b) Casual footwear
c) They're called jandals, bro?

21. On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best?
a) 1993
b) 1997
c) 2001
d) 2005

22. What is someone more likely to die of:
a) Red Back Spider
b) Great White Shark
c) Victorian Police Officer
d) King Brown Snake
e) Your missus after a big night
f) Dropbear?

23. How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?

24. Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sanh?

25. Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....

26. Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.

27. Who is current Australian test cricket captain:
a) Michael Clarke
b) Don Bradman
c) John Howard
d) Makybe Diva?

28. Is it best to take a sick day on:
a) When the cricket's on
b) When the cricket's on
c) When the cricket’s on?

29. What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?

30. What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?

31. What are Budgie smugglers?

32. What brand and size of Esky will you be purchasing?

33. Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?

34. A "Hoppoate" is:
a) A breed of kangaroo
b) A kind of Australian "wedgie"
c) A disgraced Rugby League player?

35. What does having a 'chunder' mean?

36. When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?

37. What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean?

Your Score ………….

Grumpy John,
You better do the right thing and put up the answers tomorrow for all our international forum members; so they get to learn how to be an Aussie of some sorts......lol
Cheers, crowie

[Christos]

* You know that roo meat tastes pretty good

And emu both of which is on the coat of arms. Only country that I know that can eat its coat of arms.

[Grumpy John]

Grumpy John,
You better do the right thing and put up the answers tomorrow for all our international forum members; so they get to learn how to be an Aussie of some sorts......lol
Cheers, crowie

Let 'em use Google or Wikipedia .

[colbra]

message from buckingham palace

Attachment 196137

[bj383ss]

I know who the original lead singer from AC/DC was. Is that worth a point?

The rest of it Crowie will teach me.

Bret

[Grumpy John]

1. How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog? How should I know, I'm a Holden man.

2. When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first? Beer, ice,beer, ice.

3. Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze. And ham. In 40C heat.
c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.

4. How many beers in a slab? 24

5. You call that a knife, this is a knife.
True or False? True

6. Does "yeah-nah" mean
a) "Yes and no"
b) "Maybe"
c) "Yes I understand but No I don't agree"?

7. The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character?
a) Toadie from Neighbours
b) Alf from Home & Away
c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection
d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?

8. When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages
a) Once or twice
b) As often as necessary to cook
c) After each stubby
d) Until charcoal?

9. Name three of the Daddo brothers. Andrew, Lochie, Cameron

10. Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC? Bon Scott (Not Bono or Bon Jovi)

11. Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
a) Drinking beer at a mate's place
b) Drinking beer at the beach
c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?

12. Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza? Definitely

13. How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England? Boonie, the keg on legs drank 52 cans of full strength beer.

14. How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h? Dunno, never driven from Gold Coast the Brissy (but I did have an LX Torana).

15. Who are Scott and Charlene? Characters from Neighbours.

16. How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?
a) Squirt and spread with finger
b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?

17. If the police raided your home would you:
a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items
b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?

18. Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest? Hawkie

19. Have you ever had/do you have a mullet? Yeah-nah.

20. Thongs are:
a) Skimpy underwear
b) Casual footwear
c) They're called jandals, bro?
All of the above.

21. On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best?
a) 1993
b) 1997
c) 2001
d) 2005
Don't care.

22. What is someone more likely to die of:
a) Red Back Spider
b) Great White Shark
c) Victorian Police Officer
d) King Brown Snake
e) Your missus after a big night
f) Dropbear?

23. How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie? Once

24. Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sanh? Absolutely

25. Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter.... Yeah-nah

26. Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ. Beer, ice, esky. seat, football or cricket bat (depending of the time of year)

27. Who is current Australian test cricket captain:
a) Michael Clarke
b) Don Bradman
c) John Howard
d) Makybe Diva?

28. Is it best to take a sick day on:
a) When the cricket's on
b) When the cricket's on
c) When the cricket’s on?

29. What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle? Polar Bear

30. What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer? None, they're both 285Ml (10 oz.)

31. What are Budgie smugglers? See attachment.

32. What brand and size of Esky will you be purchasing? Esky is a brand, 65 litre

33. Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice? Maybe.

34. A "Hoppoate" is:
a) A breed of kangaroo
b) A kind of Australian "wedgie"
c) A disgraced Rugby League player?

35. What does having a 'chunder' mean? Cry Ruth, Drive the porcelain bus, liquid laugh.

36. When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set? Absolutely.

37. What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean? Laughing like hell when your mate shoots himself with a nail gun, but then driving him to the hospital.

Your Score ………….

This test is purely fun, but it shows the fundamental character of the Australian people, that is not to take ourselves too seriously. That aside Australians have made great contributions to Science, The Arts, Medicine, Engineering all with little or no recognition from overseas. Link

[AlexS]

13. How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England? Boonie, the keg on legs drank 52 cans of full strength beer.

But Dougie Walters claims that beers in the terminal before leaving should be included, in which case he would hold the record at over 70.

[jimbur]

But Dougie Walters claims that beers in the terminal before leaving should be included, in which case he would hold the record at over 70.

And there's me thinking it's modern art on all the bulkheads

[colbra]

This test is purely fun, but it shows the fundamental character of the Australian people, that is not to take ourselves too seriously. That aside Australians have made great contributions to Science, The Arts, Medicine, Engineering all with little or no recognition from overseas. Link[/QUOTE]