Famous Quotes

[AlexS]

The three best things in life are a beer before and a cigarette after.

[craigb]

"I told you I was ill"

Spike Milligan. On his gravestone.

[Christopha]

I'll only put it in a little way......

[silentC]

Trust me, what can go wrong?

Hey, watch this!

[Driver]

What happens when you press this button?

[silentC]

Wot's this button,
Wot's this button,
Wot's this button 'ere for?

Alexei Sayle

[rrich]

I had an immature manager, about 10 years my junior. He was giving me a pile of used oats trying to impress me with his new found power. I looked up at him and said, "Keep it up, Dennis. Just remember I was looking for a job when I found this one." And Dennis found another job about six months before I did.

[keith53]

How hard can it be?

[Eddie Jones]

"What does that red button do?"

The female space-shuttle astroperson.

[Metal Head]

Pizza shop slogan - "7 days without pizza makes one Weak.


At a Towing Company - "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows"


On the trucks of a local plumbing company - "Don't sleep with a drip - call your plumber"


Sign at the psychic's Hotline - "Don't call us, we'll call you"


On a Taxidermist's window - "We really know our stuff"


Outside a Muffler Shop - "No appointment Necessary, we hear you coming"


On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."


On an Electricians truck - "Let us remove your shorts."

[Bluegum]

Or being care free don't care as long as its free, ( my inlaws)

[Flowboy]

On the floor of an elevator in Melb Research Institute. "Schindlers Lift"

Slogan for Otis Elevators " We never let you down"

On a butcher where I lived in Brookline Mass. on Beacon Street
"Beacon Kosher" Everytime I saw it I'd double take, thinking it said "Bacon Kosher"

On a door at St George's in Sydney " This door is alarmed at Six...but really terrified at Seven"

[Doughboy]

It's a wigwam for a gooses bridle..... said by my father when asked by one of us kids about something he did not think we needed to know.

So thirsty I could suck a golf ball through a garden hose...... my fathers uncle.

That pothole is so big you need a cut lunch to get out of it.... someone

You sit that close to the telly and you will end up with square eyes! ..... my mum

[silentC]

On the floor of an elevator in Melb Research Institute. "Schindlers Lift"

Schindler actually is an elevator company. There are plenty of Schindler's Lifts in Sydney, our office has three.

[Rossluck]

Another famous (but maybe dubious) Churchill quote was:

Some woman: "Winston, if you were my husband, I should give you poison".

Churchill: "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it".



Mark Twain produced some beauties.

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Mark_Twain/