A letter. Wk plce Hars'm'nt.

[Shedhand]

Having said all that in my last post here:

30 odd years ago I was unemployed and too old for the CES to find me a job (their words - not mine)so I doorknocked a lot of places near my home and luckily snagged a job with a timber and hardware place. Though I'd just completed matriculation as an adult student and done 1 year of a B Sc degree (family illness killed my uni days off) all I could get was a place in the timber yard, racking, loading and preparing timber sales orders. There were 4 other staff in the draughty old timber warehouse. An old Pom near retirement, a little fat guy full of his own importance, a croation fork lift driver and the Fonz. The Fonz thought he was the ducks guts. He had one of those duck hairstyles, an Errol Flynn moustache, a swagger like middleweight boxer and an attitude to match. He always had a lit fag in his mouth and he "owned" the most comfortable chair in the lunch-room. Into this environment came I. On introductions the Fonz hit me with a gimlet stare and declared he was in charge and he owned the best chair. I laughed thinking he was joking. He got nasty real quick. Anyway for the next few weeks he needled me, hid my lunch, added cold milk to my coffee when the cup was half empty and left fag butts everywhere and blamed me for it. One day I was sitting in "his" chair on the phone to a customer and I noticed him standing in the doorway looking really peeved. I finished the call and he scruffed me by the shirt and pulled me out of the chair. I'd had enough. I said, Foxy (his last name was Fox), I'm tired of your infantile behaviour (the words I used) so why don't we go round the back and sort it out. And when you go home looking like a war casualty you'll only have yourself to blame you idiot d -head". I took my work shirt off and headed round the back of the timber store.
He didn't follow. He never carried on or made a threat again. In fact we ended up good mates. Unfortunately the fags killed him.
The other problem was that his behaviour made the other 2 guys stand-offish towards me because they didn't want to offend him.
The moral of the story - nip it in the bud and stand up for yourself.

[Wood Borer]

I too would have nipped in the bud like many others here. I would have warned him once and then not feel guilty or responsible for what happens after that.

That's what I learnt in the playground at school when I was a bit younger. That's how I treat low life (people trying to get an unfair advantage by physical threat, legal threat, psychological threat etc.)

Not everyone takes this approach. Why don't they?

Perhaps they lack self confidence, courage, or perhaps it is just not in their nature to take this approach. Perhaps they believe the doom and gloom stories that they will never find another job.

I think that governments have (under sufferance) introduced laws to help those who for whatever reason don't deal with it themselves or to perhaps discourage these mongrels.

Our mate rgum for whatever reason has endured the bullying for three years which indicates he requires external assistance. I suppose that's why he started this thread.

If it is not in his character to behave in this manner, I don't consider him a wimp or a weak person.

We are all different and there are solutions out there for all of us to achieve the same result whether it be have the mongrels in casualty or court or perhaps neither.

[Andy Mac]

What ever happened to the good old days when an errant apprentice could be hoyked by his overalls on the overhead gantry to hang for while; used bodily to mop out the drip trays; or gaffer taped over the fire hydrant!!?
We knew our place back then...

[MurrayD99]

rgum, you must hate getting up mornings. Thinners eh? Two can play at that. But I'd find another place... this has gone on too long to be nipped in the bud. It has gone to seed from what I hear. Soddit....

[pawnhead]

The moral of the story - nip it in the bud and stand up for yourself.

Not exactly nipping it in the bud since it's been going on for three years now.
It's obvious that a pecking order has been well and truly established. He shouldn't have to fight (physically) for his rights, and if he does, and loses the fisticuffs then it may only make things worse.

There's no easy solution to this, but there have been some good suggestions in this thread so far. It comes down to one of four choices as I see it.

1. Fight back on their own terms:
Pros: If you win, you might gain some respect and all will be sweet.
Cons: You might loose, and things may escalate.

2. Pursue it from a legal aspect.
Pros: You won't have to eat any more sh*t. You may get some compo.
Cons: You may not hold on to your job, and you may not want to work there any more with the increased animosity that will be going around. If word gets out then you may find it hard to get a job elsewhere.

3. Look for another job with a different mob that has workers with a bit more maturity.
Pros: You won't have to eat any more sh*t.
Cons: ?. Unless there's something about this place that attracts you, then I can't see any cons.

4. Cop it sweet:
Pros: ?
Cons: Escalating emotional trauma, and ongoing misery. IMO the least desirable option of the four.

It's a decision that you'll have to make yourself, but unless you reckon there's a chance that you'll get your head punched in, I'd just prepare to explode in a calculated manner the next time you face any harassment.

"LISTEN YOU BUNCH OF MOTHER@#$%ERS. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SH*T. I JUST WANT TO DO MY JOB IN PEACE. IF YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE MATURITY TO TREAT A FELLOW WORKER WITH THE RESPECT THAT HE DESERVES, THEN I'M OUTA HERE, AND I WON'T SHED ANY TEARS ABOUT NOT HAVING TO WORK WITH A BUNCH OF LOW LIFE'S ANYMORE"

If that doesn't work, then I'd just look for another job with some normal people, instead of a bunch of sadists.

[TEEJAY]

If you like working there I think you would love working somewhere else where you are respected for your talent and work.

Take the initiative and find another job - no place is acceptable with what you have described and if you can't change the environment then change the place.

There are plenty of places these days that are occupied by respectful humans.

[Bleedin Thumb]

PS. Your boss is an a hole.

Don't worry Rgum, so is mine..................Its one on the hazzards of being self employed

[sawdustmike]

Change jobs. No job is worth it to put up with sh?t like that. Your mental health needs to be looked after, no one has got the right to mess with your head. Staying there and fighting them wont make it better. Cut your loss and leave the loosers to themselves, just smile as you try to pick who will be bullied once you are gone! If you want a new start, head out West, we can't get workers of any description here for love or money.

Good luck and I hope you sort this out soon.

[Stu in Tokyo]

Well this is a bad situation for sure, you certainly have been given a LOT of good advice, so now the ball is in your court, I certainly hope that you can work it out, in a manner that pleases you, but I do think you have to do something.

I learned the hard way to deal with this crap when I was a kid. I played baseball when I was about 12, I was even able to make the starting line up, but we had one kid on our team, you know the type, big for his age, and his dad was a "_____head" and egged him on tormenting the other kids. The coach was a coward, and this kid could knock a baseball out of the park just about on demand.

He did crap like in practice he would kick you with his cleats when he ran by, or as you ran the bases he'd trip you and stuff. One day I came home, rather upset and my Dad asked what the problem was, I told him. He knew about it, he had talked to the coaches, with little effect, and my Dad had even confronted the other kid's dad, who basically told my Dad that I should grow some balls, or go home. My Dad told me that sometimes you just got to stick up for yourself, that he could not do it for me, I had to, he told me the next time the punk did something, hit him as hard as I could, right in the face, so I did.

The next practise, as I was running the bases, the punk tripped me as I rounded first, I got up of the ground, and while he was laughing and looking for approval to the others, I wound up and hit him with every ounce of strength I had, the look on this guys face was worth it, I don't think he had ever been hit in the face before, he was shocked, and I gave him a fat lip. It took him a moment to fight back, and by that time the coaches were on their way, so I did not get beat into the ground.

He NEVER bothered me again.

The really funny thing was, when we were 16 or so, we played on the same American football team, by this time, I'd more than caught up to him, I was a lineman, and he was a running back, I had nearly 6" on him a fair bit of weight. In practice, I got to hit him, and while they were always "clean" hits, I made them count, payback is a......... well you know!

Later, when I went to work, I got all the usual crap the new guy gets, "get me the left-handed pipe wrench" and the classic "go get me a sky hook" etc, I knew they were coming and I played along, but one day, a guy at work took my lunch. I complained about it to him, he told me to pound sand. Fine, I said, you will get yours, I went out to his truck, and removed one of the vacuum hoses to his carb, I knew his truck would barely run with that hose off. After work, I was sitting there on my bike and when he started his truck up, it ran so poorly, he could barely back up, and it would stall, he finally gave up, and opened the hood. I walked over and said "What's wrong?" he barely knew where the motor was in his truck, "Dunno, won't run right"

I told him to get in the truck and try it again, he did and I fiddled with this, and then with that, then I put the air hose back on, and the truck ran great! He was so happy, he asked what was wrong, I showed him the hose and said, it must have fallen off, it happens some times. He asked me what he owed me, I said "lunch".............

The next day, he brought me lunch, and we got along just fine, and no one messed with me either, I just did my job, and got paid.

Rgum, I guess your problem is well beyond this stage, which is too bad, but, when you do get away from these useless excused for men, make sure you nip anything in the bud at the next place you work, no one deserves this kind of crap.

Hoping for better days for you!

[rgum]

Ozwinner......Felixe.....Lignum......mC2I1w.....Tamerize ( Wendy? )...Groggy....Echidna.....Gra....manoftalent....rufflyrustic.....Dazzler.....
SheddyH....Sawdustmike.

To ALL of you besides naming a few.

Gawwwwwwwd did I open a can of worms or WHAT!

I'm still humiliated daily. The boss comes over to me to joke around many time s a day. Sometimes its fun but he just will not have a serious conversation with me. I an idiot basically. It's frustrating.
I'm a kid in his eyes. No idea on how to do things and so on.
Then how come I'm in charge of setting and fitting and quality control?

Some panels crashed to the ground on Fri. The wind blew through the door and got'em. I closed that roller door. To avoid this. Then he opened it later . Then CRASH. Scratched expensive board panels. I got a yelling and he went nuts. " How can this happen on its own"? " It doesn't happen on it's own!!! " I couldn't even attempt to tell him ....he opened the door I closed to avoid a crash from the wind. It's ????????.

When I send some formal letters I will be an outcast as said. I will have to leave. I will be unpopular.
I will show the boss this site and thread.
My work does suffer and my confidence some days, to do my work go's down hill.
I stuff up things cause I'm a little nervous. Thankfully, this hardly happens or I'd be outa there. We all make the occaisional mistake.
They said it's hard to find another person to train because there's soooo much to know about cutting sinks in benchtops, fitting lights and blah blah. Soooo many little tricks you need to know.
I've learnt them all.

I also have to initiate and innovate on some jobs to get a favorable outcome in fitting something or making it look nice when its fitted. You know....cut it this way then nail it in then and not before, then bog it then shave of one side. blah blah.

Maybe I should go with the runny PVA in a sandwhich trick. ha he


Anyway...It go's on. I don't want to go on about it here any more though.
We all want to get into our sheds and make beautiful sawdust right?


Thankyou all for your links and words. I'll take them on board. All of you are kind.


Tony......

[frog's wife]

Tony,

We're all waiting to hear the end result of you sending some letters.
Do keep us posted. I'm even going to hold off being angry at you until I see some result. And yes I do want to get angry. Your first posts made me angry enough to stop reading over my partner's shoulder and go and get a login of my own.

Grow a set of kahunas and do something about this. Choose any of the wise words of the guys here or think of something yourself but DO SOMETHING. How long do you plan to lay down and let these guys take the p outta you? (See now I'm angry. I used the p word) You're obviously a nice guy. Obviously intelligent, have a good work ethic and most likely talents and skills highly desirable in your industry. Don't believe for one minute that you wont get another job in a place that you'll be respected. I'm guessing that it's either just a fear of the unknown or believing these tossers you work for are respected by others in the industry, that makes you think you'll be 'unemployable'. I'm tipping that anyone worth working for will think your employers and their references are not worth a pinch of goatie poo. You'll get another job on your own merits.

Now get out there and get on with it! What are you waiting for?






Wife of frog,

(delivering a wifely type serve)

[Fox3]

Seen WAY too much of this kind of crap in my working career.

The problem is NOT you. Go find another job with people who are reasonably respectful of other humans rather than scumbags who are so pathetic that they need to beat someone else up to feel worthwhile.

Get out before they beat you to death (mentally if not physically).

Then how come I'm in charge of setting and fitting and quality control?

There is your answer, if they abuse you enough they save money and keep you around.

GET OUT.

[TermiMonster]

Tony,
I agree with Frog's wife and Fox3.
Apply for other jobs now, then when you get one, give notice and leave. If it was me I would just quit, then look. Don't put up with this S**t.
Cheers
TM
ps. i have had 15 jobs in the last 10 years so some people I know would say don't take my advice, but I am happy and I like my current job

[joe greiner]

All of the above, Tony. You can't take pride in your work in this situation. Might be a bit awkward to find the new job while still employed, but the common wisdom is it's easier that way. When you've secured the new position, or while interviewing, advise the new employer that your responsibilities demand giving adequate notice; that should be good for a few points. Then, give about a week's less notice, and take the time to recover your wits.

Best of luck.

Joe

[scooter]

Tony, life's too short to stay there, mate.

Move on. It IS better out there, the biggest fear is that of change.

Sounds like it is beyond physical retaliation, you need to decide whether to go down the compo route or just leave & find something else.


Regards...................Sean