crazy old song titles

[Tonyz]

I was looking for something else and found these allegedly genuine song titles. Actually I do recognise a couple of them damm it shows ones age

Do You Love As Good As You Look?
Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight?
Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
I Wanna Whip Your Cow
I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose
My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

...continuing the theme...

She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up)
You're The Hangnail In My Life, And I Can't Bite You Off
You Changed Your Name From Brown to Jones, and Mine From Brown to Blue
The Last Word In Lonesome Is "Me"
I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
Who's Makin' Time with the Time Keeper's Daughter, when the Time Keeper's Keepin' Time?
My Shoes Keep Walkin' Back to You
You Stuck My Heart In a Old Tin Can and Shot It Off a Log
And There was Grandma, Swingin' on the Outhouse Door, Without a Shirt On
How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away?
I'd Rather Pass a Kidney Stone than Another Night With You
He's Been Drunk Since His Wife's Gone Punk
Come Out of the Wheatfield Nelly, You're Going Against the Grain
I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, and All Through the Night it Was Honor and Offer
Thanks To the Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With You
I Was Looking Back to See If You Were Looking Back to See If I Was Looking Back to See if You Were Looking Back at Me
Take Me To The Corn Field Honey And I'll Kiss You Between The Ears
Take Me To The Quarry And I'll Get A Little Bolder
The Beer I Had For Breakfast Is Comin' Back For Lunch
We Used to Just Kiss on the Lips But Now It's All Over
You Can't Deal Me All The Aces And Expect Me Not To Play
You Done Me Wrong, But Keep On Doing It 'Til You Do It Right

[Doughboy]

Advance Australia Fair....

[Iain]

If I had to do it all over again, I'd do it all over you.

[echnidna]

Old Farts In Caravan Parks
My Ding-A-Ling
Makin' Whoopee
What If God Smoked Cannabis
GrandPa Got Run Over By A Beer Truck
Grandpa's A Star
He Got The Wrong Foot Amputated
Dead Skunk In The Middle Of The Road
Cows Have Guns
Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch

[echnidna]

This one sounds like - BUT IT'S CLEAN.

Hot Wet Pussy

[Driver]

Is it simply a coincidence that all these titles sound as if they belong to Country music?

[joe greiner]

Is it simply a coincidence that all these titles sound as if they belong to Country music?

Probably not. Here's a couple non-country:

Mairsy Doats (by Bing Crosby, IIRC)

Oh Theodora, don't spit on the floor-a / Use the cuspidora ... (tune of the toreador song in Bizet's opera "Carmen")

Joe

[silentC]

Here are some of the stranger ones from my music folder:

You Probably Couldn't See for the Lights But You Were Staring Straight at me
Perhaps Vampires Is a Bit Strong But...
Please Don't Talk About Murder While I'm Eating
Love Removal Machine
Chant of the Ever Circling Skeletal Family
My Poor Brain
For All the Cows
The Man Who Was Too Loud
Kicked in the Taco
The Last Stand of Shazeb Andleeb
Whatever Happened to Pong?
(I Want to Live on an) Abstract Plain
Love Is Better Than a Warm Trombone
Girlshapedlovedrug
Chasing sheep is best left to shepherds

[Driver]

And from the old Pommy music hall songbook

Don't Go Down the Coal-Mine, Grandma - There's Plenty of Slack In Your Knickers, and

Don't Sit On The Gas Fire, Grandad - You're Too Old To Ride The Range

Boom-Boom.

[Shedhand]

SUPERCALLIFRAGILLISTICEXPIALLIDOCIOUS.

STUPID STUPID STUPID SONG TITLE...GOTTA BE THE WORST EVER. :mad: HATE IT WITH A PASSION..AND THE SILLY COW WHO SANG IT... RANT RANT :mad:

[Daddles]

'Carve that Possum' by Southern Comfort ... and it actually is about carving up and eating small, furry mammals

Richard

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Here's one the Floydites should know:

Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together In a Cave and Grooving With a Pict.

[bsrlee]

I have a vinyl of the chewing gum song - its an LP of pub songs.

[Shedhand]

I have a vinyl of the chewing gum song - its an LP of pub songs.

Sad