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Thread: Army retirement

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    75
    Posts
    0

    Default Army retirement

    The Army found they had too many Officers and decided to offer an early
    retirement bonus.

    They promised any Officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000
    for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his
    body.

    The Officer got to choose what those two points would be.

    The first Officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of
    his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out
    with a bonus of $72,000.

    The second Officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
    measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out
    with $96,000.

    The third one, a non-commissioned Officer, was grizzly old Warrant Officer who, when
    asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie
    to my testicles."

    It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
    explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had
    received. But the old WO insisted and they decided to go along with him,
    providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

    The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the WO to "drop 'em," which he
    did.

    The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the WO's weenie
    and began to work back.

    "My G~d!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

    The old WO calmly replied . . . . . "Vietnam."
    If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and looks like a duck then it's a friggin duck.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    West Gippsland, Vic
    Age
    72
    Posts
    394

    Default

    :eek:
    If you never made a mistake, you never made anything!


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