Rsser's accident.

[tea lady]

Sheet.

Have had a few days of no pain and good nights' sleep, and that's now over due to the new exercise regime.

OK, whatever it takes.

But I snapped at my partner yesterday and am now in the pooh.

Kicking myself, so pls excuse the dumping. No replies nec.

Seems another 6 weeks of bone formation is to be expected - so lots more wearing of the plastic handcuff - and all up recovery can take 6 to 12 months. Bugger!

B&%$ P&%% F^&% and other 4 letter words.

[NeilS]

B&%$ P&%% F^&% and other 4 letter words.

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[jefferson]

Sheet.

Have had a few days of no pain and good nights' sleep, and that's now over due to the new exercise regime.

OK, whatever it takes.

But I snapped at my partner yesterday and am now in the pooh.

Kicking myself, so pls excuse the dumping. No replies nec.

Seems another 6 weeks of bone formation is to be expected - so lots more wearing of the plastic handcuff - and all up recovery can take 6 to 12 months. Bugger!

Ern, you are old and wiser enough to know better. The other half is not always right, but be attentive to her / his needs. (Just being politically correct there).

Again - and I say this to all my friends with BIKES - sell 'em. Surely, there must be more scary things on the lathe that 200kms per hour on a bike.......

Probably not, but the wind and wasps / bees in the hair / helmet thing cannot (surely) last forever.

Behave, Ern. Rest and rest.

And get rid of that damn bike. Lost too many friends from the habit.

[rsser]

B&%$ P&%% F^&% and other 4 letter words.

Poss reply no 1: 'That's the nicest thing you've said to me TL'

No 2: 'Gee, you have a way with words!'

3. Yeah, it's a turkey alright.

Done some reading and despite the good things the physio has said, the odds on full recovery aren't all that good.

Sorry, feeling down ATM.

Full use of both hands are key to my sense of purpose in this phase of my life.

Will have to get some help to deal with this; a 2nd domestic 'snap' wld be shameful and unforgivable.

[tea lady]

Done some reading and despite the good things the physio has said, the odds on full recovery aren't all that good.

Sorry, feeling down ATM.

Full use of both hands are key to my sense of purpose in this phase of my life.

Will have to get some help to deal with this; a 2nd domestic 'snap' wld be shameful and unforgivable.

I don't know about shameful and unforgivable. Understandable might be closer to the mark. Maybe go and do something together that doesn't involve wood, bikes, or computers? And get some help. Maybe GP.

(Kinda agree with Jefferson on the "sell the bike" thing. I worked with ABI people for a while. There is worse things than dying. That's all I can say.)

I recommend tai chi. It always gets my mind off things. And when you are a beginner there is so much stuff to go in the brain that you haven't got room in there to cogitate. It is also good for the rest of the body and balance and fitness and all that.

[rsser]

Yeah, exercise is a good idea; thanks TL.

Usually I work out several times a week and need to get back to that.

As for the bike, if I'd been walking or cycling down that road at that time I would've been cleaned up by the other guy just the same. It's that narrow.

But of course it's sensible to reflect on your appetite for risk when you've been bitten.

[Ozkaban]

I vote for offloading the bike too, but that's your call Ern, and in your own time. There are risks in life and you take some and not others... up to you which ones! My wife isn't happy with me poking bits of metal into a lump of wood spinning at 2000 rpm

Don't worry about being down. it would happen in this situation. take it easy on yourself and talking to professionals in the area is certainly a good way of gtetting things back into perspective and feeling like you're coping again.

Cheers,
Dave

[tea lady]

....and stop reading up about it on the internet. There's being informed and there's being obsessive.

[NeilS]

Ern, I can identify with some of what you are going through.

A decade ago I came down with a chronic illness. Spent the first year almost completely bedridden and losing 15kg off an already lean physique; the next three or four years I was very limited in my physical activity, shuffling around with walking stick; and over the last five years I have gradually improved to plateau at about 60% of my former capacity. I don't expect to improve any further.

Must admit that I had my moments, particularly in the earlier years, which tested the patience of my family. In retrospect, very understandable. It's not easy to be stay positive, particularly with persistent pain.

I have had first rate medical care on all aspects of my illness. I hope that you can find the same.

If I read your family situation correctly, your family will be more forgiving of any indiscretions than you will be of yourself. I'm sure any recent events will be out of character and taken in context.

I do wish the fullest possible recovery for you. However, if this is not going to be the case, and not wishing to be patronising, in my experience the letting go of things that I had to let go has been easier that I expected and in their place I have found other equally engaging things to get me out of bed in the morning.

Having got a little heavy with the above, I'll refrain from any gratuitous comments about your motor bike riding....

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[rsser]

Thanks Neil, and thanks for sharing yr story.

I got down because the thing was no longer looking like the routine recovery I'd been assuming. Yes, letting go may be needed and I hope it is easier than I fear it will be.

As for my behaviour: for 6 weeks now my partner and daughter have had to do almost all of the cooking - we normally share equally - all the shopping (which was my job) and most of the driving me round, while working full-time or nearly so. And put up with a less than sparkling partner/Dad. Least I can do is mind my manners.

[rsser]

....and stop reading up about it on the internet. There's being informed and there's being obsessive.

LOL. Thanks Anne-maria

With an academic as partner surely you'd know an apprenticeship in scholarly work means obsession.

In my case, being given Hobson's choice by a surgeon drove me to find the means of coming up with an informed answer (which I still don't have but at least I'm learning some of 'their' language, so I can ask the pointed questions and poss'y understand the answers.)

Another part of that apprenticeship which I've done myself is critical reflection, and looking over the last page or two, I can see that I'm feeling that I'm incompetent and a burden on the family. And to look at how I can contribute domestically in other ways, following Neil's wise advice on adapting.

[tea lady]

It can be really hard accepting help graciously. It seems that is the biggest fear of growing old- being a burden on people. And people will so often say "No no I'm alright" when help is offered. It is quite an intimate act to let someone help you and be vulnerable to them. And a hard position to find yourself in all of a sudden. Forget the measuring and keeping score for now. It will all come out in the wash. I'm sure your wife is not worried that you aren't "pulling your weight". (Even for a skinny bloke. ) Your job is to heal. And be helped if need be. (And for an Academic, your brain is your worth isn't it? )

[rsser]

What you say has force Anne-Maria.

Yes, my partner hasn't been keeping a score card and couldn't have been more supportive.

I'm committed to gender equity and will find other ways of making my domestic contribution cp to the usual.

Depression can be contagious and I'll get some counselling.

Thanks for your nudge about exercise. Worked out this a.m. and feel better for it. Skinnier too

PS I used to do Tai Chi years ago. Took 3 years to learn a simplified form and it set me up nicely to begin XC skiing as a late starter.

[Sturdee]

Depression can be contagious and I'll get some counselling.

Good idea as it can creep up on you without you realising it, often others can see it but you can't.

Nearly happened to me during my illness, except for my wife telling me to snap out of it and get busy doing the things I could at the time.

Keep at it Ern.


Peter.

[NeilS]

...... busy doing the things I could at the time.

My approach too, Peter.

From what I can see, Ern has been doing just that. But the black dog can still creep up on you. Spotting it before it gets too firm a hold and taking early preventative action has got to see it off sooner. Seems to me that you are on the right track there, Ern.

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