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Thread: Duck Hunters

  1. #1
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    Default Duck Hunters

    HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN?

    ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSINRADIO STATION REPORTING ON THE
    INCIDENT.

    A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly payments of $560.00).

    He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin It's mid-winter; and of course all of the lakes arefrozen. These two guys go out on the ice with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR.

    They decide they want to make a natural looking open water for the ducks to focus on, something for thedecoys to float in. Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck, is going to take a
    little more power than the average drill auger can produce. So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40 second-fuse. Now our two Rocket Scientists, afraid they might slip on
    the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse (and becoming toast, along with theNavigator), decide on the following course of action:
    They light the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible. Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the NAVIGATOR, The GUNS, and the
    DOG...???
    Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING; especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it: The dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of
    dynamite, with the burning 40-second fuse, just as it hits the ice.
    The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins in their neck s swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog to stop. The dog, now apparently cheered on by his Master, keeps coming. One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog.
    The shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab.
    The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, then continues on. Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, UNDER the brand new Navigator The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on the truck touches the dog's rear end, he yelps, drops the dynamite under the truck and takes off after his master.
    Then " "" "" "" "" BOOOOOOOOOOOOM "" "" "" "" ! ! !
    The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake, leaving the two idiots standing there with "I can't believe this just happened" looks on their faces.
    The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by Illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. And he still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments.
    The dog is okay. . .doing fine.
    And you thought Rednecks only live in the South.........
    Last edited by scooter; 3rd January 2007 at 11:19 PM. Reason: tags
    Johnno

    Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

  2. #2
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    Hilarious

    That could happen in FNQ or NT too
    Regards, Bob Thomas

    www.wombatsawmill.com

  3. #3
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    Now John,

    Firstly it's NOT true (see Snopes if you don't believe me)

    Secondly, Henry Lawson did the story first, a long time before "Navigators" were invented:
    The Loaded Dog

    I like the earlier version better!

    Cheers,

    P

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    Quote Originally Posted by bitingmidge View Post
    Now John,

    Firstly it's NOT true (see Snopes if you don't believe me)

    Secondly, Henry Lawson did the story first, a long time before "Navigators" were invented:
    The Loaded Dog

    I like the earlier version better!

    Cheers,

    P
    BM, I just post 'em I don't check the originality of them...perhaps I should but I thought it was worth a laugh hence the posting in the funnies section.

    Cheers
    Johnno

    Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

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    BM,
    yeah, I started thinking Henry Lawson and the Loaded Dog when the stick of dynamite entered the story. The advantages of a classical education (or at least literacy and the fact that Alzheimers hasn't hit yet. )

    Mick
    "If you need a machine today and don't buy it,

    tomorrow you will have paid for it and not have it."

    - Henry Ford 1938

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    Quote Originally Posted by John Saxton View Post
    BM, I just post 'em I don't check the originality of them..
    If you do that, what would I have to grandstand about?

    Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so.... well.... grumpy!


    Cheers,

    P

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by echnidna View Post
    ....That could happen in FNQ or NT too
    Yeah Bob, on which frozen lake?
    Cliff.
    If you find a post of mine that is missing a pic that you'd like to see, let me know & I'll see if I can find a copy.

  8. #8
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    I've heard the pig hunter version, that do???
    Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bitingmidge View Post
    If you do that, what would I have to grandstand about?

    Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so.... well.... grumpy!


    Cheers,

    P
    No worries BM ...I get a lot of these things e-mailed as do most folk I guess and they do often come back re-hashed.

    Cheers
    Johnno

    Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

  10. #10
    rrich Guest

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    Hysterical!

    A good story but just that, a story.

  11. #11
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    First of all, if it DID happen, the story forgot to mention that the two duck hunters were FIBs. I'll let you figure out what FIB stands for but I'll give you two clues- the middle word is Illinois and the first word isn't Flatlander. We proud Wisconsinites would never be so stupid, but I have to admit that during cetain times of the year we are somewhat overrun with FIBs come up to enjoy our woods, lakes and generally beautiful environment. I wish we could find a way to get them to send us their money without actually having to let them into the state.

    Pedro
    Madison WI USA

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    As they say some mothers do have 'em.
    Dave,
    hug the tree before you start the chainsaw.

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    Who cares if its true or not . Very funny story .
    uhm , where am I ?

  14. #14
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    Even some of the phrasing and terms seem a little close to lawson.
    But typicaly the knock off story leaves out some of the funnies bits.


    cheers
    Any thing with sharp teeth eats meat.
    Most powertools have sharp teeth.
    People are made of meat.
    Abrasives can be just as dangerous as a blade.....and 10 times more painfull.

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