Traditions

[silentC]

Apologies if you've heard it before but there were these three Irish chaps who had been friends from childhood. Every Friday, no matter what the weather, they would meet in the local pub for a pint before going home to their wives.

Now this went on for years and years until one day, one of the chaps announced that he was moving to Australia to be with his daughter. The other two were disappointed and declared that they would miss their Friday evening pint. "Well never mind," he said. "You two come along here as usual, order me a pint as well as your own, and you can both share it. I want you to keep up the tradition until the day I die."

Well, that seemed like a fine idea to them. Pretty soon, most of the people who frequented the pub knew the story and they would all smile and nod in satisfaction as the two old fellers shared their three pints.

Time went by until one day, one of the remaining two declared that he wanted to see the world before he passed on. He was leaving on a 'round-the-world' trip and would not be back for a couple of years at least. Taken aback, the remaining chap promised that he would continue the tradition.

The months rolled by and every Friday, there he was with his three pints, which he would quickly drink before staggering home. Then, one Friday, to the dismay of all he only ordered two pints, sat down at the usual table, and drank them both. He had a very sad look upon his face as though he had received some terrible news.

"Oh no, this is terrible" declared one of the barmaids. She approached the old boy and said to him "I'm so sorry to see that you have suffered such a terrible loss".

"What do you mean? " he enquired.

"Well, I see you've only bought two pints and you look so upset, one of your friends has passed away".

"Oh no," he says "that's not it. You see I've been to the doctor and he's told me I have to give the drink away".

[Iain]

Like that one.
True story, In Tasmania several years ago in a pub, saw a wharfie type figure with his mates at the bar, he was drinking pots of Moselle.
Curiosity got the better of us and we asked why he was not drinking beer.
Doctor told me to give up the beer or I'll be dead in five years.
This is fair dinkum.

[Driver]

Second true story. When I built my present house - about 16 years ago, I asked the leader of the bricklaying crew (my cousin) to make sure to let me know the day they were likely to finish so I could buy the boys a beer.

On the day in question, he rang me and told me they would be finished that afternoon. At about 3 pm I arrived on site, having detoured via a grog shop on the way, with 2 cartons of coldies in the boot (48 beers - 8 blokes - sounds about right?). My arrival (or, at least, the arrival of the beer) was greeted with a reasonable amount of enthusiasm and the boys milled about while I distributed the grog. All except for Davo, that is. When I offered him a beer he declined.

"No thanks, mate. Gave that stuff away. It's bad for ya. Doc told me to knock it off before I kill meself."

Now this was no small surprise because Davo, a big bloke of about 50, was a legendary drinker. Anyway, I didn't want to leave him out so I asked if he wanted me to get him something from the deli.

"She's right, mate," he said. "Got something here."

And he opened up his esky, withdrew a six-pack of bourbon & coke and drank the lot.

[derekcohen]

And here is another true one ..

It was 1987 and I was working at the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital in Sydney, when I interviewed an rather large Irishman about his drinking habits. When I enquired how much he drank each night, he replied "25 schooners". I was almost speechless but managed to ask, "Do you think that is a lot?". His reply was, "No. All me mates drink that much". Finished me off.

Regards from Perth

Derek

[Iain]

Another one for you Derek, about twenty years ago while performing an assessment for court I had to interview a little ferret of a man on his drinking habits, he only drank on weekends.
Started at 7.00am with 6 bottles then went to his mates home, they went to the pub and had 6 pots then hbought a dozen bottles each, drank them then went out for lunch at the pub.
Had another dozen pots and then bought another dozen bottles each and went home and watched the footy.
I was amazed and asked what time they stopped drinking.
After we went to the pub at night when we finished the dozen bottles.
How do you feel by then I asked.
By now he was on the defensive, what do you mean by that he asked.
Are you , I asked.
The reply threw me...........................'NEARLY'

[silentC]

I was drinking with my brother in law one day. We were at the Royal Hotel in Coonabararan and had started about 10:30am. They had Guiness on tap, so we started drinking that.

After about 3 pints, he announced that he wasn't feeling too good and needed to get something to eat. I finished my pint so we could leave. Before I could stand up though, he'd ordered a schooner of orange juice, which he tipped down his throat in one go.

He looked at me and said "that's better" and ordered another two pints.

[journeyman Mick]

About ten years ago I was working on a boat refit. One of the two owner/skippers had lost his license (DUI) so I used to pick him up & take him home. He was known in some circles as "captain fourex" and liked a drink or two. Anyway the refrigeration worked on water cooling so it was shut off as we were on the hard. There was about 10 cartons of warm beer on board which he polished off in about a week. After that it was the cooks alcohol supply, brandy, rum and port, all cheap stuff, which he drank warm, mixed with warm "tutti frutti" cordial. He'd just steadily drink the stuff all day long. I tried one one afternoon and almost threw up, don't know how he managed to stomache the stuff. This guy was almost a caricature of a hard drinking sailor, he even went missing at sea a few years after this.

Mick

[Charles Castle]

Many years ago as a student I worked in a warehouse.
One hot day a new young bloke (all of 18) was being shown around. The boss took him around. The young guy could not see any women, and said so to the boss. The boss said "no women down here son, we are drinkers". The kid brightened, said he didn't mind a few himself. The boss said "all except Sid here". Then in a voice of utter, utter contempt the boss said "Sid can't hold his liquor". The kid looked at Sid, saw the big beer belly, the blood shot eyes, the red nose, and was a bit surprised. "Yeah" said the boss "15 or 16 schooners and he's drunk ".