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Thread: Kiwi joke

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default Kiwi joke

    Let me say that this is a Kiwi joke and I hope all Kiwi's reading it take it in the spirit in which it is told. I have several New Zealand friends and they have a terrific sense of humour and the ability to laugh at themselves. I have no intention of offending anyone. Here is the joke.

    50,000 Kiwis meet in lacename w:st="on">Edenlacename> lacetype w:st="on">Parklacetype> for a "Kiwis Are Not Stupid Convention.

    Helen Clark says, "We are all here today to prove to the world thet Kiwis
    are not stupid. Ken I hev a volunteer."

    Carlos Spencer (All Black Star) gingerly works his way through the crowd
    and steps up to the stage.

    Helen asks him, "What uz fufteen plus fufteen?" After fufteen or twinty
    seconds Carlos says, "Eighteen!"

    Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then all 50,000 Kiwis start
    chanting, "GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

    Helen says, "Well sunce we've gone to the trouble of gitting 50,000 of you
    un one place end we have the world wide priss end global broadcast media
    here, I thunk we ken guv hum another chance."

    So she asks, "What uz siven plus siven?"

    After nearly thirty seconds he eventually says, "Ninety!"

    Helen is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -
    everyone is disheartened.

    Carlos starts crying and the 50,000 Kiwis begin to yell and wave their
    hands
    shouting, "GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

    Helen, unsure whether or not she is doing more harm than good, eventually
    says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance...What uz two plus two?"

    Carlos closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four!"

    Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 50,000 Kiwis jump to
    their feet, wave their arms, stamp their feet and scream "GUV HUM ANOTHER
    CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"
    Last edited by scooter; 12th July 2007 at 08:44 PM. Reason: tidy up
    Reality is no background music.
    Cheers John

  2. #2
    rrich Guest

    Default

    OUCH!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Adelaide
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by munruben View Post
    "GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

    Another nail in the coffin of trans tasman relations
    Mike
    "Working to a rigidly defined method of doubt and uncertainty"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Garvoc VIC AUSTRALIA
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    Default

    Dud They Guv Hum Another Chance?
    Regards, Bob Thomas

    www.wombatsawmill.com

  5. #5
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    Default

    Kiwi favourite song "I remember Ewe"

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by wheelinround View Post
    Kiwi favourite song "I remember Ewe"
    By Skud Roe
    100% of all non-smokers die

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