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Thread: Anz

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default Anz

    ANZ Bank - This is Brilliant !!!




    Note to self: 'Cancel credit cards prior to death!
    Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless
    and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today!

    A lady died this past January, and ANZ bank billed her for February and
    March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and
    Then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had
    been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.

    A family member placed a call to the ANZ Bank:

    Family Member:

    'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'

    ANZ:

    'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

    Family Member:

    'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

    ANZ:

    'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

    Family Member:

    So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

    ANZ:

    'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to
    the credit bureau, maybe both!'

    Family Member:

    'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

    ANZ:

    'Excuse me?'

    Family Member:

    'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . The part about her
    being dead?'

    ANZ:

    'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

    Supervisor gets on the phone:
    Family Member:

    'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'

    ANZ:

    'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

    Family Member:

    'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

    ANZ:

    (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

    Family Member:

    'No, I'm her great nephew.'
    (Lawyer info given)

    ANZ:

    'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

    Family Member:

    'Sure.'
    (fax number is given)

    After they get the fax:

    ANZ:

    'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I
    can do to help.'

    Family Member:

    'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing
    her. I don't think she will care.'

    ANZ:

    'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'

    Family Member:

    'Would you like her new billing address?'

    ANZ:

    'That might help.'

    Family Member:

    ' Rookwood Memorial Cemetery, 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney Plot Number
    1049.'

    ANZ:

    'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

    Family Member:

    'Well, what the **** do you do with dead people on your planet?'

  2. #2
    rrich Guest

    Default

    Family Member:
    'Well, what the **** do you do with dead people on your planet?'


    Here we give them motorized wheel chairs and encourage them to buzz pedestrians scaring the H*** out of them.

  3. #3
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    Default

    "I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."

  4. #4
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    Default

    Jeez your a spoilt sport Silent!

  5. #5
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    Default

    Never let the truth get in the way of a good story, huh?
    "I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."

  6. #6
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    Oberon, NSW
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    Default

    What's the truth got to do with a joke? Talking about banks:

    -[8<]-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    What a world? (country NSW... (New South Wales.. Australia))... On Thursday, 24 January 2002, Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio.

    In March, 1999, a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away.

    In April he received another bill and threw that one away too.

    The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his gas line if he didn't send them $0.00 by return mail.

    He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error and they would take care of it.

    The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome gas line figuring that if there was usage on the account it would put an end to this ridiculous predicament.

    However, when he went to use the gas, it had been cut off.

    He called the gas company who apologised for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it.

    The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue.

    Assuming that having spoken to them the previous day the latest bill was yet another mistake, so he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good as their word and sort the problem out.

    The next month he got a bill for $0.00. This bill also stated that he had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover the debt.

    Finally, giving in, he thought he would beat the company at their own game and mailed them a cheque [check] for $0.00.

    The computer duly processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the gas company nothing at all.

    A week later, the manager of the Mudgee branch of the Westpac Banking Corporation called our hapless friend and asked him what he was doing writing cheque for $0.00.

    After a lengthy explanation the bank manager replied that the $0.00 cheque had caused their cheque processing software to fail.

    The bank could therefore not process ANY cheques they had received from ANY of their customers that day because the cheque for $0.00 had caused the computer to crash.

    The following month the man received a letter from the gas company claiming that his cheque has bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he sent a cheque by return mail they would take immediate steps to recover the debt.

    At this point, the man decided to file a debt harassment claim against the gas company.

    It took him nearly 2 hours to convince the clerks at the local courthouse that he was not joking.

    They subsequently assisted him in the drafting of statements which were considered substantive evidence of the aggravation and difficulties he had been forced to endure during this debacle.


    The matter was heard in the Magistrate's Court in Mudgee and the outcome was this: The gas company was ordered to:

    [1] Immediately rectify their computerised accounts system or show cause, within 10 days, why the matter should not be referred to a higher court for consideration under Company Law.

    [2] Pay the bank dishonour fees incurred by the man.

    [3] Pay the bank dishonour fees incurred by all the Westpac clients whose cheques had been bounced on the day our friend's had been.

    [4] Pay the claimant's court costs; and

    [5] Pay the claimant a total of $1500 per month for the 5 month period March to July inclusive as compensation for the aggravation they had caused their client to suffer.

    And all this over $0.00. This story can also be viewed on the ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) website. Who employed these idiots??
    -[8<]-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I may be weird, but I'm saving up to become eccentric.

    - Andy Mc

  7. #7
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    Default

    its a bank its probably true..... and thats coming from me
    I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

    My Other Toys

  8. #8
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    Default

    http://www.snopes.com/business/bank/zero.asp

    Sorry, can't help myself...

    "I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."

  9. #9
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    Default

    Where do you think I got it from?
    I may be weird, but I'm saving up to become eccentric.

    - Andy Mc

  10. #10
    rrich Guest

    Default Not exactly but close

    In the US when a pensioner goes into a state funded nursing home their pension and government "Social Security" payments are turned over to the nursing home. The nursing home then uses these funds to provide care for the pensioner and bills the state for any additional expenses. Not a bad deal really, and the pensioner gets a stipend of $35 monthly.

    When my Mum died several years ago, it was my responsibility to clean up the financial details.

    A quick call to the New York City Fire Department about my Mum was all it took to have the Widow's pension payments stopped. About two weeks later I received a hand signed letter of condolence.

    Three calls to the Federal Social Security office to finally get the payments stopped.

    The first call ended with a demand that I come into the local (To where my Mum died and 2500 miles distant.) Social Security office. (Stuff that)

    The second call ended with a demand that I send an original and certified death certificate. I only had two certified death certificates and they were needed elsewhere. The Social Security office also wanted my Social Security number. I refused, saying "I'm not the person that is dead." (I know people that Social Security declared them dead when they were reporting the death of their spouse.) They actually hung up the phone on me.

    The third call went basically like this. Mum is dead. It's your money so I would suggest that you stop sending it to the nursing home. Then in the first bit of intelligence in the whole situation they asked where should they send the death benefit? (About $250.) My answer was to send it to her other son, my brother and gave the details. About a month later, my brother said that he got the check.

  11. #11
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rrich View Post
    In the US when a pensioner goes into a state funded nursing home their pension and government "Social Security" payments are turned over to the nursing home. The nursing home then uses these funds to provide care for the pensioner and bills the state for any additional expenses. Not a bad deal really, and the pensioner gets a stipend of $35 monthly.
    Nursing homes here used to do the same my dad was in one for a few years due to MS.
    The hassle came when he had a stint in hospital and the place at the nursing home had been lost (2 weeks was the longest they'd keep his place, bed). What a nightmare to have his pension transferred to the new home and back again when he was able to move back closer to us.

    Now pensioners who have their own homes have to use their homes as collateral/deposit and still pay. for some of the nursing homes its not worth it and what they get for it.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by wheelinround View Post
    Now pensioners who have their own homes have to use their homes as collateral/deposit and still pay. for some of the nursing homes its not worth it and what they get for it.
    That's like the situation that I'm in at the moment.
    My mum owns the place I'm in here, although I've got equity from investment that I've put in to help them with retirement. My old man was going to get one of those 'bricks and mortar' loans that you don't repay until death, but I talked him out of it by investing myself.
    Dad died, mum went to a home, and because of her equity, I had to pay interest on the bond required. It was about $300p/w.
    They took her pension as well, and she got about $25 per fortnight, so I had to pay for her smokes as well. About $100 p/w, plus anything else she couldn't afford, clothing, shoes etc.
    No major dramas until it got close to two years. Centrelink said they were going to cut off her pension because after two years the house becomes an investment instead of a residence.
    I did the sums, and worked out that I'd have to come up with about $800 p/w to maintain the status quo. If the house was sold, she'd have to live off the proceeds until it got down to $25,000 when they'd restore her pension, so I thought stuff that and I quit work to become her full-time carer. She can't look after herself, and most of the time she can't be left alone, suffering from bipolar.

    So now, instead of paying one pension, and getting lots of tax dollars from me to offset it, the govt. is paying two pensions, getting nothing back, and I'm stuck at home when I'd rather be out working with my mates, and earning decent $.


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