Only in Australia

[WoodJunky]

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an
Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry
or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV.

Oh and...... Only in Australia ... can a pizza get to your
house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Australia... do supermarkets make sick people walk
all the Way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while
healthy People can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia ... do people order double cheeseburgers,
large Fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Australia... do banks leave both doors open and
chain the Pens to the counters

Only in Australia .... do we leave cars worth thousands of
dollars on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the
garage.

Only in Australia ... do we use answering machines to screen
calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone
we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Australia ... are there disabled parking places in
front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v
battery works on their tongue.

142 Aussies were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins
from new shirts.

58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives
instead of screwdrivers.

31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas
tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper
with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last
two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

And finally.... In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull
whilst throwing up into the toilet

[Batpig]

Dear WoodJunky,

Not bad... Not bad at all...

I love that Social Commentary style stuff - can't get enough of it.
She's a funny place in some ways, heh?
Particularly loved:
- the Pizza Delivery/Ambulance bit
- the Prescriptions/Cigarettes bit
- the Disabled Bay/Skating Rink bit
- the Cracked Skull/Toilet bit

Wonder if you could dig up (or make up ) a new one about the number of new trees planted on footpaths by councils each year, versus the number of them that are then kicked over or broken within one week by gangs of shacked-up underage renters passing by on their way to and from the nearest outlet...

Good Stuff,
Batpig

[Rattrap]

Good one woodjunky! Just what i needed to start my day off.

[weisyboy]

good jod wood jnky just the way to start of a good friday in the workshop pitty i gota clean up.

[WoodJunky]

Thanks Batpig, Rattrap, weisyboy
This one was emailed to me at work and we all had a good laugh so I had to share it

Wonder if you could dig up (or make up ) a new one about the number of new trees planted on footpaths by councils each year, versus the number of them that are then kicked over or broken within one week by gangs of shacked-up underage renters passing by on their way to and from the nearest outlet...

that would be a good one to do!!!!!!!

[bsrlee]

This has been going around for some years now, it started out as 'In America' - so someone has just found the 'find & replace' function in their word processor.

The biggest giveaway is the bit about supermarkets having pharmacies at the back - common in the US, and luckily not seen in my neck of the woods - think what it would be like if Bunnies started running your local health care - come to think of it, just make sure no politician seems this

The only original bit that I can see is the first paragraph - but there again the Belgian Beer Cafe's do very good meals, so I don't need to stop for a curry on the way home ;-)

[echnidna]

NOT TO MENTION...3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v
battery works on their tongue.[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][FONT=Verdana]

Don't do that, its really really painful (don't ask how I know)

[AlexS]

Don't do that, its really really painful (don't ask how I know)

4...and counting