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Thread: Don't do it....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Werribee, Vic
    Age
    67
    Posts
    1,312

    Default Don't do it....

    Newlyweds
    A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very
    much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old
    buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."


    "Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.


    "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."


    The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the
    refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
    different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.


    The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could
    think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... you know...
    they have frozen glasses... "


    He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him
    by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer
    mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just
    holding it.


    The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the
    bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't
    be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"


    "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took
    out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in
    blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.


    "But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know ..there's swearing, &
    dirty words and all that..."


    "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?... LISTEN UP DICKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT
    THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR
    FRICKING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS AIN'T GOING TO A
    FRICKING BAR! THAT **** IS OVER...GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"


    ....and, they lived happily ever after.
    Isn't that a sweet story?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    East Geelong
    Age
    95
    Posts
    3

    Default Just Married

    Another couple had just got married and were on their honeymoon. When they were undressing ready for bed, he threw over his trousers to her and said, "Here. Put these on."
    She tried but they were much too big.
    "I can't wear these." she said.
    "Right" he said, "just remember who wears the trousers in this marriage!"
    She looked thoughtful but said nothing.
    A little while later, she took off her knickers and threw them over to him.
    "Here" she said, "Put these on."
    He tried and tried, then said "I can't get into these"
    "No" she said, "And you're not going to until you change your attitude a bit, mate!"
    If at first you don't succeed, try, try again-- then give up.
    It's no use bashing your head against a wall!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Burnett Heads, QLD
    Age
    65
    Posts
    305

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bennylaird
    ....and, they lived happily ever after.
    Isn't that a sweet story?
    No benny, SHE lived happily ever after cos HE didnt have a backbone and caved in right at the start of the marriage, and in the process lost all respect from HER, cos thats just one little test in a long line that women do on men

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