New car

[KBs PensNmore]

Recently I bought a new Lexus IS250 but I had to return it to the dealer the next day because I couldn't get the radio to work.
The car salesman explained that the radio was voice activated and demonstrated this brilliant feature.
"Nelson," the salesman called to the radio. The radio then responded "Ricky or Willie?" "Willie!" he called back and immediately the radio burst into song "On The Road Again".
Then the salesman calls "Ray Charles," and in an instant "Georgia on My Mind" immediately replaces the Willie Nelson song.
I drove away very happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, "Beethoven," I'd receive beautiful classical music for the afternoon.
Then I would say "Beatles," and I would hear a multitude of those great awesome songs from the 60-80's.
It was fun and even my girlfriend got into it too.
"Billy Joel" and up came 'The Piano Man". "Rolling Stones" and up came "Jumpin Jack Flash" plus many other great Stones hits.
But yesterday, I had the best experience of all.
A couple of idiots tried to run a red light and I nearly creamed my new car . Luckily I managed to swerve just in time to avoid hitting them.
I yelled out in anger, " F'n Holes!"
Guess what !!
Up came the song " Good old Collingwood for ever ............"
* I just LOVE this new car! *

[Kuffy]

Booooooo!!!!!!

Collingwood bashing jokes are always bad.


Collingwood premiers 2015!!!!

[doug3030]

Collingwood bashing jokes are always bad.

Q: If you see someone in a Collingwood jumper riding a pushbike why must you be extra-careful NOT to hit him?

A: Because it is more likely to be your bike than his.

Cheers

Doug

[KBs PensNmore]

Booooooo!!!!!!

Collingwood bashing jokes are always bad.


Collingwood premiers 2015!!!!

Collingwood premiers 2115!!!!

[Big Shed]

Collingwood premiers 2115!!!!

I see that's in the correct forum.

[KBs PensNmore]

I see that's in the correct forum.

I don't foolow any sport so I wouldn't know.

[Bob38S]

Have heard of hundreds of types of wood but never the Colling type.

Is it a soft type or one of the composite types like MDF or chipboard?

[doug3030]

Have heard of hundreds of types of wood but never the Colling type.

It is similar to dogwood but with only one tooth

Cheers

Doug

[Kuffy]

It is similar to dogwood but with only one tooth

Cheers

Doug

No no no, they have a full set of teeth, but they are all one-eyed

[KBs PensNmore]

Have heard of hundreds of types of wood but never the Colling type.

Is it a soft type or one of the composite types like MDF or chipboard?

It's a hardwood, really really hard, almost dense.

[doug3030]

Have heard of hundreds of types of wood but never the Colling type.

Is it a soft type or one of the composite types like MDF or chipboard?

Colling Wood: timber species with the following properties:

Black heartwood and white sapwood, of limited use as it crumbles under pressure, so not suitable for fine furniture and definitely not suitable for making trophies. Originally grew wild in inner Melbourne suburbs and has somehow spread to other regions. difficult to work with hand tools due to the twisted feather-like grain. Despite these defects it is a favorite with many people. Individual appeal of the timber has been shown to be in inverse proportion to the number of teeth. The timber generally becomes severely stressed in September. Appears to be a hardwood but is actually very soft with little resilience. It was recently tested for suitability for floorboards, but although many found it easy to walk all over it , it did not make the grade.

Cheers

Doug

[doug3030]

Colling Wood: timber species with the following properties:

Black heartwood and white sapwood, of limited use as it crumbles under pressure, so not suitable for fine furniture and definitely not suitable for making trophies. Originally grew wild in inner Melbourne suburbs and has somehow spread to other regions. difficult to work with hand tools due to the twisted feather-like grain. Despite these defects it is a favorite with many people. Individual appeal of the timber has been shown to be in inverse proportion to the number of teeth. The timber generally becomes severely stressed in September. Appears to be a hardwood but is actually very soft with little resilience. It was recently tested for suitability for floorboards, but although many found it easy to walk all over it , it did not make the grade.

And does not finish well.

[rustynail]

Absorbes alcohol readily and very hard to dry out.

[Bob38S]

So, I guess it is strictly for the birds.

[Rodgera]

Who or What is Collingwood???