You wouldn't read about it! :(

[journeyman Mick]

On Sunday afternoon I noticed that the bloke six doors down had a sign out "Give away - large cactus". Now SWMBO is a cacti collector so I figured I'd score some brownie points and grab it.
Most cacti are little things that resemble a spiky green ping pong ball in a pot the size of a jam jar. This one however was 2.5M high and looked a lot like the ones in the western movies. It was tied, no, leashed to one of the trees in the yard. Its usual place of residence was tied to one of the columns by the entrance way. It was tied up because the 4 litre pot it grew in wasn't heavy enough to keep it upright.
So this morning after breakfast I walked the 150 odd metres down the road with a trolley and a rope. The bloke lifted the pot with one hand and the cactus with the other whilst I tied it to the trolley. Then holding the trolley with one hand and the cactus with the other I headed back down the road. I had newspaper wrapped around the cactus where I held it because that's he only way to keep the spikes at bay, they'll go straight through a leather rigger's glove.
There's no footpaths around here so I walked on the road, ocasionally getting off onto the bumpy dirt and gravel edge to make way for the morning traffic. As I got off the road to make way for a mum racing her kids to school the cactus broke above my hand. Of course it wasn't a clean break, it left a flap at the back of the break which acted like a hinge and a section of cactus about 1/2 a metre long, 70mm in diameter, weighing several kilos and studded with heavy 50mm spikes and covered with a dense fur of translucent fine spines came crashing down on my right shoulder blade. :eek: F#*k that hurt! Luckily at least I was wearing my safety Akubra (it's got a 50mm gash in the back of it where it saved me from a chisel a d@*#head dropped from one storey up) so it glanced off the brim rather than tearing at my ear.
I refrained from my initial impulse to inflict violence on the cactus, which was probably wise as I would've come off second best anyway. I still had to walk another 50 M or so with the spines in my shirt working their way in. Got home and binned the shirt then rang the local surgery. My wife had an appointment anyway so while she was being seen the nurse picked the spines out and dressed the (painful) wound site. Of course every one at the surgery, patients and staff had a good laugh at my expense. So I thought I'd post my experience here so that you could all have a laugh at my expense as well!

Mick the cacti wrangler

[Barry_White]

More to the point Mick, did you wife appreciate the pain and suffering you went through to get the cactus.

[scooter]

Gday Mick, I feel your pain mate.

About 3 years ago I had a mowing and gardening business, and as is the nature of such things you tend to look for work anywhere & do anything.

This day I had a pretty full schedule, but someone next door to one of my regulars wanted some cacti taken away. Nothing like the big hua (sp.?) that you got, these were just little innoculous ones about 1" or so high in small pots.

Cut a long story, we (self & offsider) loaded them carefully into the trailer, wearing gloves for a change just in case, & went on our way. Then it started to sting... and itch... :eek:

The blo0dy cacti had tiny hair like spines that must get airborne when they are disturbed. We took care handling them, but obviously not enough, we both had this stinging itchy sensation inside our elbows, armpits, crotch (took his word for that ).

When I got home and had a shower I could see dozens of the spines under my skin, sort of like ingrown hairs. Had to pick every single one out with tweezers, breaking the skin to do so.:mad:

We never tackled another cactus job again...

Your missus can have 'em !!.............cheers.................Sean

[Ben from Vic.]

Nice one Mick.

Man that sounds painfull. :eek: :eek:



Scooter, now you know why they got you to move them. :eek:


Love the real life stories on this BB.


Ben.

[sandant]

hey mick great story !
why was the guy getting rid of the thing?
hope the missus helped with the prick!
sorry bad joke

[Baz]

Hi Mick,sorry but I couldn't help but laugh at your unfortunate experience, sure sounds like a good script for Funny Home Videos.
Cheers
Barry

[journeyman Mick]

The bloke was getting rid of it because he was painting the house and because of the size of it it needs to be tied up against the house. Can't leave it tied up out in the weather because one wet season will kill it. Had to go back to the surgery today to pick up a script for the missus and was the butt of quite a few cactus jokes!

Mick

[bitingmidge]

Mick,

Keep me smirking...tell me it wasn't your buggered shoulder that got hurtt!


Hope the mental anguish is never forgotten!!

Cheers,

P

[arose62]

Mick,

I hope you whacked some End-Check on the broken bit of cactus so that it doesn't dry out to quickly and split before you can get it on your lathe!

Cheers,
Andrew

[reeves]

Hey great story mate, well told. I was once arrested for causing damage to a cactus, 2 days jail, but thats another story.

;-0

[journeyman Mick]

Midge,
not only was it my buggered shoulder, but I've also got a pinched nerve in my neck at the moment which is causing intense pain (much worse than when I had a few cracked ribs), you guessed it, all up my right arm and shoulder.

Mick

[ozwinner]

Good one Mick, reminds me of my cactus tale.

Some years ago when out rabbiting, I saw some old bottles gleaming in the sun, all hidden in a prickley pear.
Being the bumb I is, I just jumped into the prickley pear bush to get the bottles.
I jumped out just a quick when all the spines went through my Blunnies.
The spines snapped off inside the boots, I then had to take off me boots to try to remove the spines.
The result was very painfull.
I wont be doing that in a hurry again.

Al

[journeyman Mick]

Al,
I think the bottles would have been empty anyway, you must have been really desperate for a drink! Must be really thirsty work, rabbitting.

Mick

[RETIRED]

Good one Mick, reminds me of my cactus tale.

Some years ago when out rabbiting, I saw some old bottles gleaming in the sun, all hidden in a prickley pear.
Being the bumb I is, I just jumped into the prickley pear bush to get the bottles.
I jumped out just a quick when all the spines went through my Blunnies.
The spines snapped off inside the boots, I then had to take off me boots to try to remove the spines.
The result was very painfull.
I wont be doing that in a hurry again.

Al

Take off your boots or jump into a prickly pear???

[Toggy]

Nah ,

The people around him don't mind him jumping into the prickly pear; it's taking his boots off the scares them.:eek:

Ken