Don't Have Kids!

[Barry Hicks]

I was packing for my business trip and my three
year old daughter was having a wonderful time
playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy,
look at this," and she stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and
stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "I'm
going to eat your fingers," pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, look up again and my
daughter was standing on the bed with a devastated
look on her face.

I asked, "What's wrong?"

She replied, "What happened to my snot?"

[madrat]

Eeewwwww, Barry, that just made me gag...
I have such a weak stomach for that stuff..........

[wheelinround]

Years ago my younger cousin aged 4 had a slight speech impediment he had been out playing in the yard, came up banging on the door.

Aunt was busy cooking dinner, my dad sitting at the table reading paper (we shared house)

Cousin demanding something or other Aunt said to my dad whats he on about??

To which dad replied "something about a dead Rat!!" thinking he was talking about one down the chicken coup they said to leave it alone.

Young cousin persisted till dad turned and looked at him

he's standing there holding the dead rat.

[Barry Hicks]

You didn't put it in your mouth did you Wheelin?

[wheelinround]

nope Dad picked cousin up under his arms and made him take it and drop it in the fire outside

[fenderbelly]

nice one Barry

[Allan at Wallan]

I was packing for my business trip and my three
year old daughter was having a wonderful time
playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy,
look at this," and she stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and
stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "I'm
going to eat your fingers," pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, look up again and my
daughter was standing on the bed with a devastated
look on her face.

I asked, "What's wrong?"





She replied, "What happened to my snot?"

Snot good enough Barry - want to see an
improvement.

Allan

________________________________________

I once stole a calendar - and got 12 months.

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

That's one girl who'll work her way to the top.

[rsser]

Way back, my then wife returned to THE CHURCH from her lapsed state.

Eldest boy, about 4, got taken along to the occasional service.

One day, we got a call from two priests. Sat them in the lounge, poured tea etc.

In the background my son was moving around the tea things. Looking a bit closer I see him mimicking the pouring of the wine and the offering of the wafers. So I quietly move over and distract him.

Not long after one of the dog collars asks him a question and he babbles on about this and that, ending by saying firmly 'Daddy's got a penis and Mummy's got an angina'!

And she just about did.

I got to know a couple of priests after that and like them (me, a lapsed Calvinist - yeah, I know, like Catholics it's an impossibility). We had them round to dinner a few times. For the occasion I'd pull out a bottle of red from the 'cellar' (ie. under the house via a small door; needed putting on overalls for the crawl and torch in mouth kind of thing.)

Well I soon learned to leave the overalls and torch handy, cos those fellers could drink like fish.