Home Remedies

[Ed Reiss]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES


1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.


2. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.


3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.


4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.


5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be too afraid to cough.


6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD -40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.


7. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


And my personal favorite!
8. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.


And, Last, But Certainly Not Least, My Most Favorite "Daily Thought" Ever:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES; NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY'RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

[Lignin]

All good, but #3 is, in fact, an old remedy.

As an aside, I notice that "The Bleeder ps the only other member on this thread at present!!

[joe greiner]

If the alarm clock is on the fritz, before retiring to bed, drink a large glass of water.