The letter I would least like to recieve

[Barry Hicks]

Dear Mr Hicks,

Congratulations, you have won division 1 in Gold Lotto draw 1234. You and each of the other 5000 winners will receive..............

[les88]

$1.50 each and a free ticket in Monday's draw...

[Shedhand]

When soccer pools first started in Aust (do they still have it I wonder?) I got all the games. I was ready to retire. I won.....$1.26. That's right ONE DOLLAR TWENTY SIX CENTS. I never cashed the cheque. I was so upset and insulted when Harry never came to present it too me.
True story.

I had an aunty once who won div 2 in tattslotto. My mother sent her a large green garbage bag with a request to fill it up. Said auntie sent a small envelope back with $5.00 in it. She won some piddling amount ( a 6000th share of 26000 bucks or sumat.)

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

I still wouldn't mind receiving that letter... better a few extra cents in my pocket than someone else's.

No... the one I dread would go along the lines of "We are sorry to inform you that due to recent legislation your divorce has been declared null and void and you're now back in the deep end."

[Barry Hicks]

Yair Skew. that would be the one to avoid!

Barry Hicks

[Calm]

Skew
you sure opened the can of worms at both ends i reckon.

Dont even go there, once is enough.

[Barry Hicks]

Shedhand, I know of a guy who won the 'top shelf' division in those old soccer pools. He pulled the pin from his job and shouted all the staff to a slap-up night out.
When the cheque arrived, it wasn't even enough to cover the cost of the night out - he and the rest of the world got it right that time.
His old boss gave him his job back but his workmates left him with the bill for the booze-up.
There is a moral in there!

Barry Hicks

[Groggy]

.....snip..... His old boss gave him his job back but his workmates left him with the bill for the booze-up.
There is a moral in there!

Barry Hicks

Moral? Irony I reckon.

[pawnhead]

your divorce has been declared null and void and you're now back in the deep end."

You know why divorce is so expensive?

Because it's worth it!

[skot]

Statistics prove that 100% of Divorces are the result of marriages

[pawnhead]

And one in five people make up 20% of our population.

[wheelinround]

"Your mother sister and niece are moving back to Australia"

[AlexS]

Dear Mr. Hicks,

Your one way ticket to Cuba is enclosed.....

[sea dragon]

Dear Mr Hicks,
You have been entered into Hell's [insert sport name here]. Your first match will be next Tuesday........

See, that is even worse than the enquiry by the fellow of his Minister about whether they played golf in Heaven. The Minister said he did not know but would pray and attempt to find out.
He saw the fellow a week later and said "The good news is that they do. The bad news is that you are down to play in the September mixed foursomes!"

[graemet]

Love is grand.
Divorce is a hundred grand.