True friendship

[Grumpy John]

True Friendship... SCOTTISH STYLE!!


(None of that Sissy Shyte)


Are ye tired o' those pish weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here are a series o' promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cute wee smiley faces on this card.


Just the stone cold truth o' a great friendship.



1. When ye are sad -- I will help ye get pished and plot revenge against the bastard who made ye sad.


2. When ye are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking ye.


3. When ye smile -- I will know ye are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.


4. When ye are scared -- I will take the pish oot o' ye every chance I get, until ye NOT.


5. When ye are worried -- I will tell ye stories about how much worse it could be until YE STOP WHINING!


6. When ye are confused -- I will try to use only wee words.


7. When ye are sick -- Stay the f#^* away frae me until ye are well again. I don't want whatever ye've got.


8. When ye fall, I will laugh my f@$&in' heed aff at ye, ye clumsy ar$#, .........but I'll help ye up.


9. This is my oath.... I pledge it tae the end.


'Why?' ye may ask;
Because ye are my friend.
Friendship is like pishing ye pants, everyone can see it, but only ye can feel the true warmth.
Send this to 10 o' ye closest friends, then get depressed because ye can only think o' 4.

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Ye got thart menny?