Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Gold Coast QLD
    Posts
    0

    Default Insults with class

    These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

    The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

    The Duke of Wellington to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of the pox." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

    "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."- Clarence Darrow

    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

    "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

    "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

    "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

    "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

    "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang

    "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

    >>

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Bottom of the leg
    Age
    82
    Posts
    366

    Default

    i think there's been a few added since i first saw this
    Cheers Fred



    The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with the light on.
    http://www.redbubble.com/people/fredsmi ... t_creative"

    Updated 26 April 2010
    http://sites.google.com/site/pomfred/

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Cranbourne West
    Age
    72
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Loved this one


    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
    To grow old is inevitable.... To grow up is optional

    Confidence, the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation.

    What could possibly go wrong.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Townsville, Nth Qld
    Posts
    102

    Default

    The most memorable telling off I have personally experienced involved my then boss, and it did not involve one swear word, but , by crikey, I have remembered it for over 30 years. And there was no raised voice either!!

    Four letter words are an indication of the poor standard of education, elocution and brain power of the user
    regards,

    Dengy

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Sydney,Australia
    Posts
    42

    Default

    Winston, You're drunk!

    Yes I am, but in the morning I'll be sober, but you'll still be ugly.

    Another famous exchange between Mr.Churchill and Lady Astor.

Similar Threads

  1. Wheelin in class
    By munruben in forum JOKES
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12th November 2007, 05:19 PM
  2. Lamaze Class
    By oges in forum JOKES
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 8th February 2001, 08:09 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •