Afew...........enjoy

[gatiep]

Male: If I saw you naked, I'd die happy.
Female: If I saw you naked, I'd die laughing.
Male: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Female: Yes, but would you STAY there?
Male: Your body's like a temple.
Female: Sorry, there are no services today.
Male: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Female: Unfertilised.
Male: Your place or mine?
Female: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.
Male: So, what do you do for a living?
Female: I'm a female impersonator.
Male: Is this seat empty?
Female: Yes, and mine will be too, if you sit down.
Male: Haven't I seen you some place before?
Female: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

[gatiep]

Sorry ( LOL )

Now I'll keep it about woodworking:


Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson's house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something. "He won't get away with it this time," muttered Robinson to his wife. "Watch this."
"Er, I wonder if you'd be using your power-saw this morning," the neighbour began.
"Gee, I'm awfully sorry," said Robinson with a smug look, "but the fact of the matter is, I'll be using it all day."
"In that case," said the neighbour, "you won't be using your golf clubs, mind if I borrow them?"

[gatiep]

The following may help us decipher the chinglish instruction books with our machines.


LEARN CHINESE IN FIVE MINUTES...

Are you harboring a fugitive? -- Hu Yu Hai Ding?
See me A.S.A.P. -- Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man -- Dum Gai
Small Horse -- Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach? -- Wai Yu So Tan?
I bumped into a coffee table. -- Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a facelift. -- Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here. -- Wai So Dim?
Has your flight been delayed? -- Hao Long Wei Ting?
That was an unauthorized execution. -- Lin Ching
I thought you were on a diet. -- Wai Yu Mun Ching?
This is a tow away zone. -- No Pah King
Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena? -- Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?
You are not very bright. -- Yu So Dum
I got this for free. -- Ai No Pei
I am not guilty. -- Wai Hang Mi?
Please, stay a while longer. -- Wai Go Nao?
Our meeting was scheduled for next week. -- Wai Yu Kum Nao
They have arrived. -- Hia Dei Kum
Stay out of sight. -- Lei Lo
He's cleaning his automobile. -- Wa Shing Ka
Your body odor is offensive. -- Yu stin ki pu