Do tools gang up on you?

[Wild Dingo]

Mine do!!!

Yep there I was cutting the rebates in the falloes od the shups wheel Im makin when the table saw decided it WAS NOT going to cut this one and chucked it baxk at me... so I said fooku as I suxked the blood of me first finga of me left hand and put it back to the balse DUMBASS... it tossed it straight back at me again... strainfg onto me flamin firdt finga AGAIN!! do I thed FFOOKUUU and put it to the saw again!!... same bloosy result!! dame damned finga!!

so I got smaer then... an got the jap saw out an xlamped the following falloes to the benxh an began darksider ways... whixh Im not good at by the way ans proxeeded to cut the rebates out... so there I am holdin the falloe with the vety sore an somewhat red with some sorta stuxky stuff leaking all over the place... ands I start cuttin... slip... saw slides full blasr on the baxkstroke down onto the same flamin finga!! Now Im startin to see flamin red about now I can tell yer!!

So I line up and do it again... more red... ry another falloe... same bloosy deal!!... by now Im startin to think real daeksider thoughts like xhisel an mallet thoughtd... so I have a few more goes with the saw... same bloody results!!

so I get meself xleaned up of the leaking red stuff.. and look at how many falloes Ive got left...mmmm sone what? 5? cool only another 11 to go wixked as the kids say while I just groaned and shook the blood of me finga... sigh... nothin for it mallet an xhisel time

I have if you rexall told you thatr me xhisels need sharpenin an I needs some lessons in sharpenin said chuseks havent I?... well... I mananged to find a chisel that gave of the aroma of maybe possibly having slight vague memories odf sharp... and went at it... you blooy gessed it!! MOZRE STINKIN TED STUFF!!

So it goes sorta likew thid..

chisel to the wood... bam with the malled... chisel slides od wood an into finga... YOU F*^%^*&^$%&N MONGREL SODDIN FN W&^^(&*%*^$ followed by the xhisel to the wood... BAM with teh mallet... slide YOU F67%*&64568N MONGRZEL &^(*^%*&^$(I... a moment of fuming air while the red flowin stuff is shaken off and a baleful glare and I WILL FN WELL WIN!! followed by xhisel to the wood... BAM with the mallet... ((*&Y()*^&)&*^& etc etc etc

BUT!!,,, gib me my dues alright I GOTY THEM SONE... DONE!!... struth thart Jarrahs a REAL REAK RED color!!... no I mean it its seriously BLOODY red!!

An ths pain... ohhhhhhhh tis not goos mates tis not goos... so here I sits with a finga the size of me head shes waxked so muxh stuff on it "to protext you fom yerself" as she muttered and the stern warnin not to go near the shed while shes out today... yeah right ha!! like thats gonna stop me?! NAH!! like a series of various depth cuts all over me digits gonna stop me!! IM A BLOODY WOODBUTCHA darls no little bittle blood lettins gonna stop this boy!!

although the damned pain might have an impaxt

Anyways I just wondered if yous blokes an sheilas have tools that gang up on you?

[Groggy]

I think we'd all like to see the video of that! Hope you got the red stuff off the tools, it rusts like a bastid. Better luck next time WD

[journeyman Mick]

Shane,
either you were leaking a bit of claret and having trouble typing due to the bandages and/or the loss of blood whilst typing or you've had rather a lot to drink . I've always been pretty cautious around tools and have a health respect for the damage they can do. I know too many chippies with bits of finger missing. I got into the habit of assessing risk at every step along the way and consequently I go years without even needing a bandaid.
Look at your proposed operation and do a dry run before you start. Is the timber bowed at all and likely to catch or bind? Any splinters or rough spots that will catch? Tool properly adjusted and all adjustments tightened? Workspace (including underfoot) clear? Bystanders clear? Do you have adequate work/infeed/outfeed support? It doesnt take too long to build good habits but you may spend a lifetime with an injury.

Think, plan and work safe.

Mick

[Wild Dingo]

Shane,
either you were leaking a bit of claret and having trouble typing due to the bandages and/or the loss of blood whilst typing or you've had rather a lot to drink .

Npot nothin to deunk... MISSUS HAS ME GKLASSES!! its all beloody blurred Im restin me nogign againt the screen an YOU TRY TYOPIN WIHZR A BLOOTD GOOTY ON YER HAND!!!

I've always been pretty cautious around tools and have a health respect for the damage they can do. I know too many chippies with bits of finger missing. I got into the habit of assessing risk at every step along the way and consequently I go years without even needing a bandaid.
Look at your proposed operation and do a dry run before you start. Is the timber bowed at all and likely to catch or bind? Any splinters or rough spots that will catch? Tool properly adjusted and all adjustments tightened? Workspace (including underfoot) clear? Bystanders clear? Do you have adequate work/infeed/outfeed support? It doesnt take too long to build good habits but you may spend a lifetime with an injury.

Think, plan and work safe.

Mick

I DOD ALL YHAT MIXK!!! ... thwey savagely an without remorsr ATYTANKED ME!!! ... I didnt dso nothin

[journeyman Mick]

Npot nothin to deunk... MISSUS HAS ME GKLASSES!! its all beloody blurred Im restin me nogign againt the screen an YOU TRY TYOPIN WIHZR A BLOOTD GOOTY ON YER HAND!!!



I DOD ALL YHAT MIXK!!! ... thwey savagely an without remorsr ATYTANKED ME!!! ... I didnt dso nothin

Sorry Shane, I know I shouldn't laugh at someone else's suffering, but I'm ROTFLMAO!

Mick

[martrix]

Sorry Shane, I know I shouldn't laugh at someone else's suffering, but I'm ROTFLMAO!

Mick

...like wise.

Were you also missing your goggles when the tools accosted you?

[Wild Dingo]

Sorry Shane, I know I shouldn't laugh at someone else's suffering, but I'm ROTFLMAO!

Mick

aaah thufferin thuckertash thas jest plain doggone rude mate here I am sufferin in pain swollen digit no in the fridge no sympathy for widdle ol me missus cracks up every time she looks at me kids dont give a rip an so I come here to me mates an I gets...

..like wise.

Were you also missing your goggles when the tools accosted you?

sad I tells yer... sad sad sad

An no I had me damned specks on! I just didnt have me flamin brain in gear is all

Thing was I went back out there after I wrote that... yeah ruddy great football as a digit an all... an packed the ships wheel away (it needs some serious sanding now ) an started on me eldest daughters hall side table that I'd been muckin about with for some months now an not getting anywhere... so Im starin at the table saw... I get a couple of lengths of Jarrah from the stack outside the cave door mark... draw lines for new legs... glare at the table saw again... look at the bandsaw shake head... look at jap saw SCREAM an shake head... table saw it is!!... so I cut the first one NO WORRIES!!! cut the second one NO WORRIES!!

Actually got a shyteload done on the thing today... its almost finished!! just needs the legs screwed on a few bungs fitted then the base put to the top a slathering of Orange oil and whalla!! all done... NO BLOOD!!!... well okay no FRESH blood... bit of puss bit of weepin (yeah Ive been called worse! ) but no fresh blood... they musta decided to leave me alone for awhile let me relax again then when Im all honkey dorey an amazed at me ownself all over again WHAM!! they will have at me again!! I know I should be worried but Im tuff I can handle it IM A BLOODY UBEAUT WOODBUTCHA!!

The football over me digit went out the door after about 3.2 seconds!!